The Importance of Being Idle.

There by the grace of God.

2012-01-24T14:13:00.005+07:00

it might be gone for a while. but not for me. when i say all the time. i mean all the time, every time. it's not that i have my ego in the way, but it is the end product that will continue to suffer me from yesterday, now and until tomorrow. you may say that i have the higher ground in all of this. if that is true would be i down and dry like this. coming through to you not directly but with hesitation and help from external communication. i don't know what, where, or when everything went wrong. but nothing is normal, good, or even stable. not you. not me. not even the weather. and what do i turn into, a complete downgrade. the people around you, sure they'll help you out. here and then. those happy formulation of liquids and medicines that you consume might turned those frowns into smiles. but, really it's all temporary. whatever you run to, you always end up running into yourself.

and all the drugs in the world cant save us from ourselves.

Happenstance.

2011-12-20T13:28:00.001+07:00

The last few months have been a rough one. I went on an up and down hill battle with myself, my environment, and the people around me. I got down, I fell, and I fuckin drowned, and collapsed. At first I couldn’t pick myself up and tried to find new ventures that could take the pain and distract me from the world. But that wasn’t easy, I had my circumstances that I needed to pass. I was in a conflict with myself, at whether calming the storm in my own body or the storm that will come to me at this certain date. I needed to swim out of it both. It was by far one of the toughest fight I had to go through. And still, up to this point, there has been no sign of me winning.

A slight of hope and light came to me in so many different ways, shape, and time. I felt so blessed and certain that the rays of sun would warm my cold blood and pull me out of the storm. But no, I was wrong. Those small chances were just warnings wanting to remind me of where I stand and how I was doing. Life had its ways of always sucking you back in and drowning you in sorrow.

I found an undefineable happenstance that occurred to me. It grew strong. It grew greater. It was magnificent. I was alright. I was okay. I was happy. After all the tears that I let out.

But then life, yes life. Struck again and stabs its thorns on my chest all over again.

A night of fun turned sour as I learned what it is that defines this happenstance. All were just a hazy imagination and rays of hopes that was going down. I know where I stand. And still I live and walk on these hopes, waiting to see what will happen. If everything went down now, I could only pray that this won’t. I need to win.

A chance, I guess. I need a chance. I need a circumstance especially that is due to chance.

And I don't know why on earth I'm calling,
Calling at this time of night
You've got me hoping for some happenstance baby
You've got me uptight

I don't who you are
All I know is you fold me in half
Darling, all I know is I'm caught up on you

Yours.

2011-10-27T07:39:00.003+07:00

im at my very low. lowest of the low. please please.. understand me, what i mean, us, and everything in between. im already dead inside and dying just a little literally every day. nothing i do now is right, nor do i want to do anything at all. im a mess. all i needed and wanted was enough, but now its gone. i need and want it back again. please, i want to live again. stay.

Whatever.

2011-09-22T10:19:00.006+07:00

“Im free to say whatever I, whatever I like. If it’s wrong or right, it’s alright.”

And so they say, their brotherly love has emerged as a new sense of genius in the music perspective. How? You may ask. Or why? For that matter. But the only real reason is, really, cigarettes and alcohol and plagiarism? Or maybe, just plain coincidence? Here are a few examples of infringement related material that has taken Oasis, and the Gallagher’s up in the sky.

It’s true what Warhol said. Art is what you can get away with. And in this case the Gallagher’s has gotten away with money, fame, and law suits bagging their way to superstardom.

1. T Rex - Get It On // Cigarettes and Alcohol

This song is the most common song known to be copied by Oasis. The guitar intro and rhythm says it all. As soon as you hear it, you’ll realize what an ass Oasis is. Although Get It On is an excellent track on its own, still Oasis has proven their magnificency by taking that bit of guitar rhythm and magically transform it into and even better and bigger single. Almost completely identical, Cigarettes and Alcohol starts off with the same guitar intro and continuing to use the exact rhythm all through the song. From the lyrics perspective, man you have got to admit it, Oasis never fails to bring your sorrow ass into an amazing oblivious coma. It just makes you want to join a frantic rampage. You gotta make it happen!

2. Wham! – Freedom // Fade Away

Oasis has yet again succeeded in accomplishing the unthinkable, which is stealing from a gay man. Different from Get It On by T Rex, with Freedom Oasis has taken the beat of the singing and made its tempo faster and up beat. Freedom talks about a problematic relationship, which in this case, I’d rather not get into a gay’s man business. Where has Oasis has taken its beat and made it into a dead end dream song sung so beautifully and so enthusiastic. What a smart move. Why only steal from a gay man Steal and kill his dream. Dream it while you can. Maybe someday I'll make you understand.

3. Coca Cola Ad – I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing // Shaker Maker

Here’s a fave of mine. Steal a coca cola ad? Who’s got the balls to do that. Well, my friend they have outdone their self. Take a peek at the lyrics and listen to the melody of the ad, then listen to glorious Shaker Maker.

“I'd like to be somebody else and not know where I've been

I'd like to build myself a house out of plasticine “

“I’d like to buy the world a home and furnish it with love

I’d like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony”

Incredible right? Anyhow, it’s been said that after Oasis released Shaker Maker and how it is infamously linked to the Coca Cola Ad, the company the sued Oasis. All the law suits and legal acts has then stopped Oasis to drink Coke again and made them quickly switched their fizzy drinks to Pepsi. You can’t get anymore of incredible than that, I can assure you. So, shake along with them..

4. Stereophonics – Same Size Feet // The Hindu Times

This is by far my favourite rip off song. I love both groups so much, that hands down I can bravely and proudly say that Oasis is a fuckin genius. So they first steal from one of the grand dad of rock music, then steal from a gay man, and my lord steal from a bunch of virgin hill singers, and now this, stealing from a friend. Thank the heavens and mighty lord, Oasis are a bunch of loving smart ass bastards. You can hear from the guitar melody all through the song that Oasis has used the exact guitar riff. Two bands glorified in the same era, and no one has suspected that Oasis would actually copy a friend. The Gallagher’s are such bastards that they seem a genius in their own way. Because they got speed and they walk on air J

5. Neil Innes – How Sweet To Be an Idiot // Whatever

As soon as you first hear it, you’ll know what song it is. This is a no brainer. As pathetic as the original song is, somehow Oasis seems to be delightened by it, that they gloriously created Whatever by using the melody sung on the original song. And to prove them even more ridiculously amazing, Coca Cola has given them a hand and taken back their law suits by making Whatever to appear on a Coke Ad. How could a bunch of arrogant lads reached even a higher status and power, by making their enemy forgiven them and hand them a golden crown, and all together by the start of the tunes from How Sweet To Be an Idiot. Well I guess it’s true it is sweet be a jack ass idiot, like Oasis and make fame just by listening and chomping of guitar chords. Hey, you’re free to be whatever you choose.

I guess from this, we have learnt how it has become a known sensation on a single factor of how Oasis, and to be specific The Gallagher’s brother, are a self made genius. Take a listen to all the original songs that they copied from and tell me what you think. And remember they are geniuses because they have taken a material off a song and transformed into a much bigger, better, and more famous song than its original. That is what a genius is all about. In their case, innovative and arrogant. And there may be plenty more songs that they have copied, but for reasons we all keep sacred in our hearts, it is better just to enjoy them the way they are, as original bastards. I hope this short form of information has been somewhat informative to all the readers. To experience and relive their magical sensation, dont forget to attend this year's Gallagher's Bank Holiday on October. Stay tuned and remember, stay young and live forever!

Come On Baby Blue

2011-07-07T10:32:00.003+07:00

i have longed for the days when we were still learning about each other. when we still gave tolerance. after more than a year it seemed like we lost our ways somewhere among the line. i have grieved every chance that i get when something never turns out right. while you only watched in silence and threw my grief back at me. maybe its me. maybe its you. for all i know, we have lost control of our self.

as far as i hate being like this. i have never wished for anything other than staying with you through every ups and downs. can you see it now?

2011-03-13T14:18:00.003+07:00

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completely speechless in my head, right now.

How to be

2011-02-19T11:41:00.002+07:00

on times like these. i could only contemplate by my self. i dont think i would be able to talk about it to anyone else. no one really knows me that much. i guess i have arrived at the door of facing my future. there are many roads leading me there. the question is which path am i suppose to take. there are many things i'd like go thru. but deep down i know which path i have to choose. i envy the people around me. i envy them so much. and it gives me such a down feeling to watch them, while i loathe myself locked in my room. certain factors have blocked me to ride freely around. and my unstability is at worst when times like these comes along.

sometimes it hits me, that i have long forgot how to be and how it feels to be happy for myself.
so when happy does come along, once in a while, i wish it never ends.
and that time stops at that exact moment.

this is the best picture of me that i could find, showing (what probably is) the happiest point of my life.

toodles.

Unbearable

2011-01-02T21:48:00.003+07:00

it's funny how your mind plays a trick on you. one moment you're on top of the world. the next you're crying your heart out. and moments later you feel completely mad and turns yourself into a complete rage. mood swings. unstable emotion. psychological issues. whatever you name it. it's not a funny thing or least likely something you actually want. it comes it goes. and when it does come knocking, it's a fuckin nightmare.

so for tonight im just gonna say fuck you. and sleep to try to shake this off. hey you think you got issues to handle, other people has too. go get a grip and try to face your battle like everybody else is coping. stop being a pussy and make others feel miserable. it's sad to be like that, and most of all it makes me feel sad on every aspect that you try to turn it on me and see you feel like shit.

goodnight.

New Years Crisis

2011-01-02T15:13:00.007+07:00

so its another new year to welcome and celebrate. im not a big fan of new years party, but hey who wouldn't want to taste how it feels to celebrate something so uncynical and a complete waste of your brain. and so i have decided to check in at my friend's house, that has no parents, unlimited alcohol, and a stash of heavy hash. i can imagine what will happen. me drunk puking. well to say the least not a very good picture to imagine. and so i arrived before 7. everything looks pretty ship shape. oh but i know, hell is about to break lose.

and so before midnight pretty much most of my friends were wasted, except me and my very sober non drinking non smoking friend. it's not unusual to see my friends go crazy but too see them dancing to an unbearable dance music and laugh off completely on nothing just seems too much. drinks spilled everywhere. i got my thigh burned. the house looks like a bomb has hit it. and midnight is still an hour away.

before i left off to my friend's house, my best friend chatted me and told me that she had no plan. and the i remebered spending my 2009 new years countdown with her at citos, which was a complete lame way to "party". we only ate and drank beer. but nevertheless, it was so lame and simple that it became so relaxing and comfortable. in the end it was a perfect way to end a year and start a new one.

the reason why i've never liked new years party is, i think it's a complete rip off of spending your time, money, and excitement on only something like a change of a new day and calender. especially here in Indonesia. i mean, on the west world, people there celebrate new years because they spend a complete whole year studying and working, thus also celebrating a holiday momentum. now that i understand completely. but here, most of us dont even have holidays on new years. in 2011, on the 3rd of January most college students get back to their reality. and for me on Monday the 3rd of January i need to submit my final exam assignment. and so i ask once again, what's there to celebrate? i would gladly get wasted after every single obligation weighing on my shoulders are cleared. and enjoy a peaceful holiday and party hard to give myself a pat on the back for a year of hard work. now that is a reason for celebration.

but overall it was an ok change of year. complete with our own fireworks and bbq. i ended up not sleeping until 4pm the next day and still suffering from sickness to this day. and the cherry on top was having my boyfriend to change my not so enjoyable new years to a "hello, i think im gonna love 2011" new years.

every year i manage to make a new years resolution. last year was less alcohol, more study and work, live healthy, and work out. 2010 was i guess alright. i managed to drink less, gain more work experience, reached a 3,8 gp on my last semester, and lost 5 kgs to god knows what. 2010 was wicked. that's the word. wicked.

im keeping my 2011 resolution private, but to name a few i want to achieve more in every aspect, acedemic and non academic, earn money, travel, be more nice to people, live clean and organize, and stay positive and happy. now that last one is going to be the toughest challenge.

cheerios!
happy new year people. may the force be with you in 2011.

The Pursuit of Happiness

2010-11-20T15:45:00.002+07:00

im in a crisis. im in a moral crisis. dilemmatic and confused. everybody around me has something that they could hold on to or something they can always catch. i try to tell myself that the status and achievement i've gained is more than enough than i can bargain for. but reality has once again slapped me right in the face. the social networks that accompany me are a fuckin nightmare. you see everybody around you gaining more and more gold than you. it's not that im overly jealous and not happy for them. but its that i dont know what went wrong. is it me? is it the "you know who, i know who" people? or is it just that i didn't make that much of an effort to take a leap? i am sad.

i've turned down modeling. i've turned down swimming and softball. fuck, i've even turned down singing and playing in a band. all i got now is my oh-so-so academic status that even im trying to cope up with and making the most of it. even so, my academic friends are gaining something out of the academic status that we're going through. so, really, what's wrong with me?

but i guess i need to be grateful of all the things i have. i am a proud PO for Simbiosis Musikalisme's events. the only job that i think will stuck on me. and to make the first event for it, is truly an incredible experience. i am an overall underachiever. i have achieved most of my grades at an average, and only achieved a couple above average. i have joined a couple or so organizations and events. but none stuck on me. i have lost two jobs offering at being a writer in a web magazine, because of one a personal issue and two because i didn't have the time to pursue it enough. that is truly depressing. i try to get into most competition that are based on my academic perspectives. but heck i failed. other than that, i am a complete retard. a couch potato. and a total skinny bitch who hangs around the mall and tries on expensive heels.

is my story truly that bad and sad? disconnecting my life with all the people around me and just venture out on my own seems like the perfect escape. but until then im recovering myself by making a full on revenge plan. this plan will have to work. the essence of revenge in time is a big part of it. until then au revoir bitches. im stocking up my heels so i can all hit you from a far.

ciao!

Must Get Out

2010-11-20T10:27:00.003+07:00

i have lost all passion in eating right now. while holding a big bottle of herbal tea, i think to myself. who's wrong? and what's right? the last couple of days i've been opening up my blog and just starring at the empty compose box. and right now, you have just completely collapsed my mood for everything good today. i dont want think thoroughly about all the nonsense flying around in my head right now. im just gonna think straight about getting more thin and looking like a complete drug addict. dont ask me why? dont ask me anything. im actually so sick of hearing all these questions being asked to me. why this? why that? just stop. and i am tired of explaining myself to you and answering to you. so let me just ask this one question, why cant you just understand me?

is it too much to ask in that little question.

i have turned all the invitation to go out. i have sacrificed most of my time. i have even spent most of my time just to put things the other way around. complete nonsense. and the funny thing is i am listening to Maroon 5 while writing this. and even this metro sexual band is giving me the utmost irony right now.

this city's made us crazy. and we must get out.

Vagabond

2010-10-13T09:42:00.003+07:00

i found the answer looking in your eyes.

and so he said it. at that moment i couldn't do anything. i didn't even realized what he meant. all i could do was to hold him as hard as i could and begged for forgiveness. he still insisted that it was the way to go. i let go of him but didn't say goodbye. i watched him waved and all i could feel was heavy thumping on my chest. i wanted to cry but i held my tears. i went back inside and locked the doors. still not believing what had just happen, i sat on the sofa and suddenly cried. hard.

for a moment i thought my world was crumbling down. shattered and torn. i couldn't stop crying all night. my eyes actually hurt and were swollen to the extend that made them unable to be open. all night long i couldn't think, do anything, or sleep. until i was already so tired that i fell asleep eventually. even so, my dreams weren't so different. i was crying in misery in the only place i could let go of myself. it was terrible.

when i woke up. i only thought of him and how he would text me first thing in the morning. then my senses came to realize that it wasn't suppose to happen. so i did what i've done all night. i cried my eyes dry. and did the unthinkable and texted him. even though the reply weren't much. i still smiled. it was a breather.

i knew i weren't able to show my self in campus looking like a mess. and skipping class was the only option. and up until this point when im writing this sentence, im still stuck in bed, haven't eaten or drink, and of course haven't cleaned up myself. im a total mess and a wrecked.

i have realized what i've done was foolish and wrong. but regret always comes at the end and leaves you feeling the worst pain. i really wish i could turn back time and change everything. for once i knew i had nowhere to go or do anything more. i knew i had to respect his decision and give him space. but for fuck sake im not ready to let go of him, i dont think i'll be able to. this is just too much. i dont know what to do. i cant get out of bed. i dont feel the need to eat or drink. i cant think straight. i am actually losing my mind. i dont think i could go on like this. i feel like i need to go up to him and just say, take me back and make promises i'll keep. cause i know i'll need to do my best to get my best. and seriously i cant even imagine going thru another day like this. this is complete torture. i might as well jump off a cliff. and for fck sake im breaking down in tears again. all i know now is, i want you and i need you more than you or anybody knows.

right. im just gonna cover myself in bed, once again.
good bye :'(

The sun sets in the sky
You're the apple of my eye
If the bomb goes off again
Blows my brain around the train
And I hope that I'm with you
Cause I wouldn't know what to do

i really wish this was a work of fiction.

i really wish this was a work of fiction.

Little Baby Nothing

2010-09-03T17:19:00.007+07:00

i've been dead a long time in this cyber space. reasons for uncertainty has called me back. these last few months everything was moving in an up and down motion. my brain went on a deadlock. i was once again emotionally unstable. and physically drained. the weight of my body shows my tiredness from all these crap and bullshit. i, for once, am 41 kgs. the lowest i've been since elementary school. and for fuck sake, it makes me more sad. the scars on my arm, pretty much shows that i wanted and needed to go numb, yet again. and for once, the drama in life doesn't look as pretty as it is visioned on screen. i take my words back. life sometimes seems more colourful in black and white.

eating used to my outlet or input when im bright. if i was sad i wouldn't eat. if i was happy i would go mad for food. if i was tired i wouldn't even think about food. and if i was excited and pumped, eating would be my calling. well you get the idea. and now what happens when your whole life went into a sudden black out and suddenly turns back on like a fuzzy television? you'll look anorexic.

feeding yourself with loathes and cigarettes tends to be your only saviour. people around you seems to think you're ok, you're fine, you're perfectly great. all that just seems so vulnerable, when all you want is the one person you want most to ask you "how have you been?". it's amazing how you communicate every single day with the same person and yet that particular person has no clue to your appetite for uncertainty and mental instability. sometimes i just wanna laugh out loud about it. and wonder why am i even with that person. it's ironic really. everything fake tends to cover the rage beautifully. the make up, the clothes, and the fake smile.

No god reached me, faded films and loving books
Black and white TV
All the world does not exist for me
Hopelessly passive and compatible
Need to belong, oh the roads are scary
So hold me in your arms
I wanna be your only possession

Narayana

2010-07-07T10:26:00.005+07:00

hello sexies. im back. back from the dead. a holiday filled with many many tiring thoughts and burden. just thinking bout it makes me want to puke. Kula's Strangefolk is playing. i am too stoked to watch them this August. what a birthday! on my 18th i got The Used. on my 19th i got Mew, Third Eye Blind, Vertical Horizon or for that matter the first rock fest in Indonesia. and this year, im going to get Belle and Sebastian with my ticket safely folded in my wallet and of course the band that will bring me tears of joy this year, Kula Shaker. praise jebus.

i've been tired. yes tired. 23 days to go. 11 people to manage. and one hell of a show to build. not only that, my relationship with him seems to be on the rocks lately. it's almost six months and things has started to shake. it's tiring. i dont need to elaborate. it's highly common to go thru this kind of stage. but i've never felt a certain feeling that's so strong, that turns me into a complete mess when going thru this rocky stage. i dont think i can imagine myself without him. it's vulnerable. i know.

i've been a good girl. i am a good girl. i've locked my past and hid the key. i didn't throw it away, i hid it. meaning it's bound to be found when i look for it. but when you talk about principle, i shatter. i've broken one. and turned him into a walking.......good god i dont even know how to describe how he felt. i was a complete hideous creature to him. but for him to accept it and stayed with me was the greatest feeling i could have ever wish for. he is the greatest.

im not good with promises. i try not to make promises. i really do. i try to steer my way clearly away from making promises to anyone. and breaking it is the worst feeling. taking two doses of pink pills is like throwing a coin. one side you feel terribly awful and sad, but on the other side you'll feel the happy artificial effects that's bound to make you feel like you've just been born. completely fresh, happy, energetic, and willingful. it felt amazing. i really need more.

waking up like you've been dead and seeing the time you've lost is tremendously confusing and good at the same time. i felt so pumped up and enormously happy that i started to tied up my loose ends from last night in a matter of minutes after i got up from bed. fckn awesome. i forgot how it feels to feel that certain courageousness when you wake up. last time i did would probably be when i was in grade school. i cant describe the feeling. its calling me for more.

work is calling. deadline is too clear to be pictured. he's gone for a couple of days. im a mess. burnt a joint last night to heal my self. listened to Tommy. slept great but woke up tired and miserable. i am a train wreck. looking for more healing treatment that would set my mind straight and turn me into sunshine. im a good girl. i am. i am. a completely good hypocrite girl. i am.

this is sad. goodbye.

Buddy Holly.

2010-06-01T13:41:00.002+07:00

What's with this bitch dissin' me?
Why do she gotta front?
What did we ever do to this girl, that made her so violent?

but you know I'm yours. and I know you're mine.
and that's for all of time.

I don't care what she says about us anyway.
I don't care bout that.

Dry Papercup

2010-05-23T16:25:00.002+07:00

so here i am stuck in my blue square room wondering what should've become and what should have been done.

and right now i've run out of words.

Hello You

2010-04-17T15:03:00.004+07:00

sometimes i wonder what would happen if everything that leads to NOW, never happened. what would become of me this very moment. there wouldn't be a chop in my hair. there wouldn't be a new euphoria in my ear. there wouldn't be you. there wouldn't be us. for christ sake there wouldn't even be me, here, right now, with my thick eye liner and dried out mascara writing shits. i wish i knew what would go on in another dimension, another time and place. where everything is 180 degrees to what it is now. a paradoxical world. there would still be me. but where would i be? what will i be doing? will everything just stay the same only attached to different people in different places and time.

other than that. i'd like to think im living an afterlife. i am somewhat reincarnated. from who or what i dont know. i'd like to say that i was once a spy who's the flower child of Marilyn Monroe and JFK, who goes on an expidition to find out who she really was. now doesn't that all sounds familiar. but i really do think i was somewhat a bad aid probably before. it could have happen.

im tired. i dont know why. i haven't been physically drained out nor emotionally. but today. i have just realized. i have had the first hit of "i am fed up with you" syndrome. im sorry. but i think i go thru it with everybody. but really. i am fed up with you. i have just had about enough. i've bottled it. and now i am bursting out. i know i'll get over it and feel normal again. but for right now, this very moment, i am done with you. that is why i would like to find out, what would become of me if NONE of this happened. what would i be doing now? how would i feel?

but right now. at this moment. i am in love with a sultry voice. i think his voice is just absolutely perfect and amazingly dreamy. you led me to this. i wonder if you never showed me this, maybe i would have never known now. but what would be better is, maybe somehow paradoxically the you now could be him. and dear god he is not only perfectly voiced to sing a girl into a dream, but also perfectly shaped like my ultimate vision of a gorgeousity at its best. thank god. i am fed up with you, today. so i would have a reason to actually be in love with him, today, right now. and to put the irony on top. its our celebration, today. isn't it all so very pretty.

Tangerine

2010-04-02T13:09:00.004+07:00

"I can't see anything that I don't like about you."

i dont think i would ever want to erase you, hopefully. prove me right, will you.
i really do wish i had good reason to see you soon.

"I could die right now, Clem. I'm just... happy. I've never felt that before. I'm just exactly where I want to be. "

The Spiders From Mars

2010-04-01T16:31:00.003+07:00

this tickles me. them cunts. ha.

"I never could get over the fact that The Pixies formed, worked and separated without America taking them to its heart or even recognizing their existence for the most part."

i love you more Mr. Bowie for this. it just makes me even more sure, i'll name my kid after your star. Ziggy.

making love with his ego Ziggy sucked up into his mind.

Sadistic & Dirty Boots

2010-04-01T13:04:00.004+07:00

i stole my sister's boyfriend. it was all whirlwind, heat, and flash. within a week we killed my parents and hit the road.

if you're a fan of Sonic Youth, like me, you must know what im talking about just by looking at the picture i edited above. yes. it's Goo. a sixth album. and the only cover album that caught my eye. so as any fascinated 1o year old boy would do, i googled it. it led me to the Moors Murders. quite fascinating actually. since i am a kid of those knowledge, i guess it really did carried me out a little bit. the picture above is a picture of a couple, Maureen Hindley and her first husband David Smith. which David happens to be a boy with 3 criminal convictions of minor crimes before marrying Maureen. if you have read the link on the Moors Murders, you have probably read that Maureen is the little sister and sister in law to the infamous Ian Brady and Myra Hindley. only one of the infamous couple murderers from England. and if you notice, on most books of criminals and murders, the couple's pictures are almost on every one of them. Myra Hindley later on was described as "the most evil woman in Britain" by the press. while her boyfriend became criminally insane while being incarcerated. both were gulity of 5 murders in which both buried their victim's body in a moor nearby their neighbourhood. not only were they charged with murders, but also sexual assault to 10-17 year old children. the murders were during the 60s, a time of trippy acid and hairspray. later on, it was discovered that both murderers had a background of violence as a kid growing up, which has shaped them into cold blooded criminals. they were said to be a "concatenation of circumstances", which brought together a "young woman with a tough personality, taught to hand out and receive violence from an early age" and a "sexually sadistic psychopath." if you are interested like me, try visiting the link for a more deep and personal encounter with them. and personally somehow the mugshot of Brady and Hindley gives me goosebumps. the picture above was a paparazzi shot of Maureen and David Smith driving to their sister's trial in 1966, in which David happens to be a witness to one of their killings, the murder of Edward Evans. Sonic Youth's album cover was a remake of the picture as an illustration made by Raymond Pettibon. Goo itself is a splendid album, but not as awesome as Daydream Nation (may fave Sonic album). the only thing Sonic Youth has lately done to me is think about teenagers, streets, and murders. i dont think any band has made feel that way since god knows when. we'd all like to make rubbish of our ears, once in a while.

cheers with beers.

Mountain Dew Rock

2010-03-27T07:58:00.002+07:00

if having the best dream feels like wine and cheese, then i dont mind waking up to the smell and texture of processed milk.

i cant understand why i dreamt of them, buying them, and having the best euphoria of my life. it really taste so vivid. i miss Beck. i miss Primal Scream. and i miss them Kooks. i need them on my very early week end morning with snotty red nose and cold feet.

all in your mind.

Four Leaved Clover

2010-03-24T20:41:00.005+07:00

Im not a teenager
So don’t act like one
Sure she’s a heartbreaker
Does she have one?
Is it down to me? down to me? we both rarely speak.

overall their perfomance was great. sang with them through the whole performance.
their last song made me skipped a beat. razzle dazzle rose. yes, my lastfm name.
and Tracyanne starring at me and smiling just made it extra magical.
cant wait for them to come back.

pictures courtesy of the boyfriend.

The Big 7

2010-03-21T20:01:00.005+07:00

i know i know. i should be studying. and yes yes i guess i am wasting time. but really i cant focus and i just dont feel the fire this mid term. and for fuck sake i miss posting about The Sunday Covers and what not. i haven't been searching for more exciting covers or anything interesting enough, since i've been busy doing not so important stuff. anyways after the Tribute To Oasis, i felt as if i miss them more now than i did before. and their music never gets old or bore me. since i dont have any covers to share, i guess i'll post about yet another The Big 7, Oasis version. here are my top 7 Oasis tracks.

7. The Importance Of Being Idle

i cant express how much i love, adore, and go gaga for songs that tells about laziness and pretty much about nothingness, and how important it is. i guess if you know me well, i picked my blog title, because of the fact that i am a slob and yeah, i guess well, because i love Oasis and the song title itself. that is why i worship, The Beatles' Im Only Sleeping. songs like these expresses me in a way nothing can. my blog title is supposedly to express me, the way i am, and to share my point of view about everything the way i sense it and why its important. this song always somewhat remind me of Dont Look Back In Anger, maybe because of Noel. i know its not better than Dont Look Back In Anger, but since that song is, i think too overrated although it is still a classic, The Importance Of Being Idle scores big just for the title and song meaning itself.

6. The Girl In The Dirty Shirt
my funeral song. i get so happy everytime i listen to this song. maybe to some, this just an average Oasis track. but to me, it gives me a sense of happiness that somehow i cant explain. how cliche of me. but really, i always smile and play random images in my head everytime i listen to it. i know people are gonna understand what i mean when they hear this in my funeral.

5. Acquiesce
brotherly love, nuff said. daft twat and prick head. featured on the 1998 The Masterplan. this song is a total boner to me. woot! FEEL THE LOVE SEXIES :D

4. Live Forever
dont you just love the "oh yeah" at the beginning of this life changing song. well at least to me, it's life changing. and i cant get enough of the "oh yeah". really. there isnt much reason to tell you why this is my number 4 favourite Oasis song. all i can tell is, it's from Definitely Maybe. only the most fastest selling debut album in the UK. and this song was release a week after my birthday. and on that day, i was only 4 and yet i remembered singing this when i was 6. loving the song as if i knew what it meant. and look at me now, life changing ey. i just love how free the song is. it gives you a hope and well you cant help but enjoy the words and feel like a sparrow or a bat or whatever thing that flies. might as well make you feel like a mosquito. quite true actually.

3. Whatever
seriously, go fug yourself and listen to it.

2. Morning Glory
this is the only song that gets me thru the morning. and to be from my fave Oasis album just adds the cherry on top to an already sweet icing. almost every single day, in the shower, in the car, at breakfast, in campus. and well i have always thought of this song to be my lucky charm. somehow if i listen to this in the morning, i know my day will turn out great. superstitious ey. but it's Oasis, so i dont really give a crap. and i was so disappointed that none of the band at the tribute sang this. and all i wanted to hear was this song. oh well, at least i've seen it LIVE. fug my ass and marry me with a donkey hihi :P

1. Champagne Supernova

numero uno. whadya think?

Focusing On The Negative

2010-03-18T15:56:00.008+07:00

it's only 2 days until the show. im so excited, i've been listening to them non stop. i once thought i would never get to see them live or even if i would, it wouldn't be in Bandung of all places. but hey everything seems to go upside down these days. if you have been following my blog from the beginning you would notice how i am so inspired and touched by their songs. to recap everything there's around 3 posts inspired by them. i dont know what i was thinking back then. feeling so blue and crying like a total idiot. but i dont regret it. it was how i felt at the time. and as stupid as it sounds. it feels so good to have gotten over it. i still shiver and shed a little tear thou every time i listen to their Let's Get Out Of This Country album. every single song in that album reminds me of one person, and one person only. i hate it. is it so strange that that person still pops in my head? i dont want it to. and i never wanted to since the bad started pouring in. just listening the second track makes everything come alive again. now im just scared i'd cry on Saturday. it would be so wrong if i did. but its so hard to erase that memory. and now to the third track, the fourth and so on, it gets worse. it just feels so silly now. to think i have what i've always searched for now and somehow this madness comes crawling back in. stupid right. i guess this is me focusing on the negative. always have and always will.

positivity. i need a dose of that. i had a great visit from the boyfriend last night. im struggling on my OC mid test assignment, but its all part of the learning and all the struggle equals paths to the route of the 19 bus. its only 2 days until i see them. tomorrow i'll have a blast with my wonderful handsome boys. and right now to think of my Honey In The Sun just gives me the best grin. and to answer last night question, "im smiling because im just happy i could be with you."

you got me pouring myself over this page.

I'll Be Famous For 15 Minutes

2010-03-10T15:21:00.004+07:00

who doesn't love a good quote to express the wisdom of life and all the things that revolves around it. i've always loved Andy's quirky words and witty sense of humor. he makes everything look like a form of art without even trying. and sometimes in life, to get through the bitterness is only a shot of humor translated through an art form of words. here are my favourites.

"Dying is the most embarrassing thing that can ever happen to you, because someone's got to take care of all your details."

"Employees make the best dates. You don't have to pick them up and they're always tax-deductible. "

"Fantasy love is much better than reality love. Never doing it is very exciting. The most exciting attractions are between two opposites that never meet. "

"I always wished I had died, and I still wish that, because I could have gotten the whole thing over with. "

"I never think that people die. They just go to department stores. "

"I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.' "

"I suppose I have a really loose interpretation of "work," because I think that just being alive is so much work at something you don't always want to do. The machinery is always going. Even when you sleep. "

"I used to think that everything was just being funny but now I don't know. I mean, how can you tell?"

"I'm afraid that if you look at a thing long enough, it loses all of its meaning. "

"I'm the type who'd be happy not going anywhere as long as I was sure I knew exactly what was happening at the places I wasn't going to. I'm the type who'd like to sit home and watch every party that I'm invited to on a monitor in my bedroom. "

"I've decided something: Commercial things really do stink. As soon as it becomes commercial for a mass market it really stinks. "

"Isn't life a series of images that change as they repeat themselves?"

"People need to be made more aware of the need to work at learning how to live because life is so quick and sometimes it goes away too quickly. "

"Since people are going to be living longer and getting older, they'll just have to learn how to be babies longer."

"They always say time changes things, but you actually have to change them yourself. "

"What's great about this country is that America started the tradition where the richest consumers buy essentially the same things as the poorest."

"Being born is like being kidnapped and then sold into slavery."

"Sex is most exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets."

"The idea of waiting for something makes it more exciting."

"You have to do stuff that people don't understand because those are the only good things."

"Those who talk about individuality the most are the ones who most object to deviation, and in a few years it may be the other way around. Some day everybody will just think what they want to think, and then everybody will probably be thinking alike; that seems to be what is happening."

An artist is somebody who produces things that people don't need to have.

Pills

2010-03-06T10:57:00.003+07:00

here i am. suppose to be doing my week worth of assignments. but im still feeling ridiculously ill, its getting on my nerves its boring to actually cope with it. and even worse im suppose to be at campus doing my group ass, but with the way that im feeling i dont think i'll even manage to get there myself. sorry guys. listening to the Gallaghers brother seems to lift my mood, and singing along to Camera Obscura is even better. i cant wait to see them live, it'll be a complete madness. right now, i just cant wait to finish all my stacked up deadlines and have a free troubled sunday morning with my highschool pals. but even so, The Masterplan and Primal Scream has been entertaining me all day. i'd like to go out to today, but that would be so irresponsible of me. how very teen of me. but i never regret to say that i'll always be forever young, and 16 inside. but what i want right now would make me become the thing Dorian Gray swore to destroy. im actually feeling quite jealous and envy at the moment, that most people are enjoying they're end of the week time to have fun. and here i am letting myself to be trapped at home with a contagious disease and a blobber of ass. i'd really like to see my friends. but tomorrow i know will be much better. anyways yesterday night was wonderful, i love his visits, especially when im feeling not too well. and right now, at this very moment, i think i'll swallow some more crazy bugs. im sorry i cant help my self.

and when i said i didn't love you i told a lie.
cause there is no one above you though i try.

My Dirty Shirt

2010-03-05T15:52:00.005+07:00

so i've been sick these last 3 weeks. i dont know how i caught the disease, but it sure has sucked the life out of me for the last 3 weeks. i have constantly been feeling so tired in everything i do, every single day. i've taken every medicine known to cure me, even extra vitamins. it seems that i have become somewhat immune to the pills. might be because, i have a habit of taking the pills over the suggested dose. yes. i love pharmacy medicine, they give the best sense of well being. its either you feel so relaxed and worn out, or you just feel like you're so high up its like you're under the influnce. even if im not sick, i secretly swallow down those meds ha.

last night my boyfriend went a little mad at me, because i wont listen to him. well its not my problem that i hate doctors. i loathe them. i think they're evil and just plain sick them self. well i might be going a little over board with the opinion, i guess its the effect that im just so diseased my self. but truth be told, i do have a pure logical reason to back my argumentation against doctors. i dont think i'll blur out here, cause the one person i told it to didnt take it seriously and actually made fun of me. i still can never understand why i even told him in the first place. dammit i hate it when im so meds up, sick, and in love. its completely bezerk. he is still one lucky bastard.

when i got home today. i threw up like a mad cow. stuck my head in the toilet as if i drank a gallon of Jack D. it felt so bad but so good at the same time. i thought for a moment, that if i let everything out i might just end up being cured. fuck no. that only lasted a few minutes or so. so i gave up wishing that would come true, although i really did feel a lot better when i puked out my stomach. even my bad coughing stopped for like half an hour or so. but it soon continued and well i did what i would always do, i slept. i knew i needed to tell someone about the horrific pain im goin thru, and the only person i tell it to would probably get so fired up that he might actually fly a doctor to my room immediately. so i did what any irresponsible teenager would do, i kept my mouth shut.

but you know what, the reason for posting this is not to blab about how im coping with my illness, but to shout out about my funeral plans. yes. funeral plans. some people plan their weddings early. some plan their son's first birthday. i plan to plan my funeral accordingly, so that when i die i would literally rest in peace knowing that everything goes as i planned.

to start off i've actually selected the three most essential songs to play on my funeral. While My Guitar Gently Weeps, Stop Crying Your Heart Out, and my personal favourite The Girl in The Dirty Shirt. why? you'll know and feel the reason when i die. and as i have told my friend, i want everybody in green. yes green. because green makes me happy. and you know what Lennon said "happiness is a warm gun", so i guess it'll be my second happiest day in my life when i die, the first being the day i finally learned to ride a bike. other than the dress code and music to play, i want my family and close to friends to decide what'll make the party mad. the thing that i havent decided on is how i want my body to enter its final rest. the location im 80% postive i want to be at the beach, and the 20% i want it to be held in Hidup Baru, in the house im living now if it still exists. i still cant decide if i want my body to be burned into ashes and then thrown out into the sea, or just plain burned and kept in the most rock n roll jar you can imagine, or better yet i could get my body to be tied up to a surfboard and then be left floating in the sea and end up being eaten by sharks, or they could all just bury me in dirt, the very old fashion way. everything sounds so good.

along the way i'll figure out the answer. until then the meds are quickly reacting. im so hazed up. but my sister is sleeping in my bed and i miss my boyfriend so bad already, that im actually getting sick of missing him everyday. so always be sure to remember! save water, dont shower. save water, drink beer. toodles sexies.

cheers with beers.

Shots Of Sugar

2010-02-21T15:28:00.004+07:00

so here i am again on a Sunday afternoon. i'd like to do a post on my Sunday Covers, but things are looking otherwise. im stuck with piles of assignments and a boyfriend who's (i never thought i'd say these words) even more busy than me. fell asleep reading the material, and woke up in a sudden alarm with a bangin head ache. i usually wake up missing someone or dream about some random or specific person im either curious about or that's very dear to me. but when things are hanging over me, well it wont look or feel so pleasant as i always hope it could be.

my Sunday morning was terrific today. i cant understand why my highschool buddies can bring out the best and happiness in me at any given situation or time. if it only means getting up early to go out for porridge and glass of slushies, i wouldnt trade it for any other thing. or just showing up in your doorsteps at night and greeting you with a warm hug, even if you havent taken a bath all day, just warms my heart. just so you know, we've always been there for each other for half a decade, that's almost 5 years. and not to say that we're like some kind of an exclusive gang in a highschool mapped peer group kind of people, but well we've never been best friends with any other people.

like that time when we were all trapped in my balcony when it was raining and there was a blackout so we had to use candles everywhere. or like the time when we would actually stood up for each other instead of our boyfriends and girlfriends. and of course when would give each other the best surprises on our birthdays (sorry guys but i have to say my 18th birthday surprise KILLS all your birthday surprises haha). and i guess everytime when we would be around each other, or almost every single day after school where we would just be kids and hang around in my house.

we were naugthy unstable kids. we really were. that was the process. now i am so glad and proud to say that we are all really good adults. ha. it's funny and tickling how we all grew up and changed. it always does make me smile and sad a little at the same time. what will never change is that, we would always be little children that would wait 2 hours in a line just to ride the mary go round with their play pals.

cheers with beers.

Morning Call

2010-02-18T08:40:00.003+07:00

so im just gonna blah it all out. i really dont get it. no i dont. why it happens, i dont really know. i know im not one to complain or actually comment on the matter. but really if it's this kind of thing, i just cant help my self. i need to ask each and every person i know doing so to get the goddam answer. it has been irritating me for god knows how long. i mean i know some people do what they do, but then there's them. dont you have a life of your own. bugger off will ya.

like all others.
i'll keep this to myself.

toodles.

Sweetness

2010-02-14T20:40:00.002+07:00

yes i do mean everything i said. you got me so cheesed up, it's beyond my expectations.
i never want this excitement to go away.
its thoughts like this that catch my troubled head when you're away,
when i am missing you to death.

my spoonful of sugar.

Judy's Idea

2010-02-07T13:33:00.003+07:00

Take me on a trip upon your magic swirlin' ship
My senses have been stripped, my hands can't feel to grip
My toes too numb to step, wait only for my boot heels
To be wanderin'
I'm ready to go anywhere, I'm ready for to fade
Into my own parade, cast your dancing spell my way
I promise to go under it.

Then take me disappearin' through the smoke rings of my mind
Down the foggy ruins of time, far past the frozen leaves
The haunted, frightened trees, out to the windy beach
Far from the twisted reach of crazy sorrow
Yes, to dance beneath the diamond sky with one hand waving free
Silhouetted by the sea, circled by the circus sands
With all memory and fate driven deep beneath the waves
Let me forget about today until tomorrow.

Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me
I'm not sleepy and there is no place I'm going to
Hey ! Mr Tambourine Man, play a song for me
In the jingle jangle morning I'll come followin' you.
Though I know that evenin's empire has returned into sand
Vanished from my hand
Left me blindly here to stand but still not sleeping
My weariness amazes me, I'm branded on my feet
I have no one to meet
And the ancient empty street's too dead for dreaming.

unfortunately,
drugs are only a temporary solution.

I Always Cry At Endings

2010-02-03T20:46:00.005+07:00

it's funny how the images of the past just comes to you when you least expect it. lately i've been listening to my favourite BnS album, Tigermilk. the album is so beautifully written, its almost as if it were filled with fairy tales that doesn't require a happy ending. and reading one of my priced possession, Put The Book Back on The Shelf just translates the album into a modern masterpiece. but if i were to talk about the past, i'd put on Lazy Jane. the song just says it all in the most quirky music and lines. the funny thing is it shivers me, i often get goosebumps when i sing along to it. referring to their graphic novel, the Lazy Jane story comes alive as if it were a music video when you're reading it. i guess the song just really reflects the days behind in a witty way. but that's the thing i love about Stuart, he tells everything in such an odd opposite way. or it's perfectly stated that Murdoch has a gift not only for whimsy and surrealism, but also for odd, unsettling lyrical detail which keeps the songs grounded in a tangible reality. he makes the worst situation sounds as if it were a common state and experience, therefore flipping the coin and telling it in the most surreal and musical way. BnS is definitely my favourite stories compiled that's sang and viddied gorgeously. and last words about Tigermilk, Expectations...

Death Cab for Cutie. i dont think i'll talk about them too much. i am too much in love with their perfect melody and melancholic symphony and tears for words. i even gave myself a birthday present on my 19th, a night out with DCFC. that's 5 hours of their discography and me shedding water. i get so Coheny when i listen to them. yes. a total retard. i even put a picture of them on my work space just to keep me company. after a melancholy journey on my 19th, i was saved by my darling boys with a lovely surprise and kidnap. definitely the alcohol solved it in the end. why shed water on my birthday? i have no clue. i guess its the accumulation of the roller coaster of emotion i rode until i stopped at 19. it does feel weird and akward, but also it feels good. it kinda gives you a new sense of well being. and to be saved with cupcakes and candles is definitely the icing on top. their melody is definitely softly soaring thru my atmosphere.

cheers with beers.

A Life Less Ordinary

2010-01-22T10:51:00.003+07:00

oh my goat Tim Wheeler. please rape me. i officially want you on me.

but that's not the point.

i love watching my fave movies on the holidays. and this morning i happen to put on one of my fave love movie. i dont do icky sicky love films. but i do love this one. it's so twisted and strange, that it makes the whole idea of love a complete absurd beauty. and i enjoy the taste of comedy in it. it's a little early for some dovey lovey touchy awkwardness. but hey, you cant help the fact that i've actually been struck by some kind of i dont know what. that i am completely and utterly in such a happy state of mind. ah thank you Herdy, i love you :)

the last few words from the movie.

Celine: So you're telling me that successful relationships... are made in heaven? Not founded on the daily practicality... of two people being prepared... to tolerate the imperfections of one another?
Robert: It's not successful relationships, Celine. It's love. And it comes from a strange and wonderful place... that we don't know about.
Celine: So you also reject the idea... that love is merely an emotional adaptation... to a physical necessity?
Robert: Completely.
Celine: Are you serious?
Robert: Fate intervenes in people's lives. In ours, for instance. Fate brought us together. It kept us together. We were destined for one another.
Celine: Fate had a pretty strange way of making its point.
Robert: But that's part of the beauty of it. It's inexplicable, unpredictable... and absolutely beyond control or understanding.
Celine: But you nearly got killed.
Robert: But I didn't... and here we are.
Celine: Do you have any substantial evidence to back all this?
Robert: None at all.
Celine: And you realize that it's absurd and irrational?
Robert: I know that.
Celine: Then why do you believe it?
Robert: Because, Celine, I'm a dreamer.
Celine: Well, I guess that makes two of us.

cheers with beers.

Midday Masturbation

2010-01-15T22:51:00.002+07:00

in dreams i try to take you far away.
i wanted to control it.
but love i couldn't hold it.

cant imagine the real thing in front of me, seeing it with my own eyes.

Back On The Road

2010-01-15T01:15:00.003+07:00

they haven't changed a bit. not a single bit. still the old themselves. it feels so good after quite a long time not being able to see them. and it always feels good to be greeted by them in such a warm way. one is still stuck in his old love path. not changing and not choosing life at all. one is still my twin. got fatter in the stomach, still entertaining, and lovable. and one is still so handsome. enough said bout the last one. thou i didnt get to see one other one, i was happy enough to be with them three. as always we took the time for catching up. had a few drinks. smoked like a pipe. and laughed till our ass was stiff. we were singing The Kooks, KoC, and to top it all of M2M. lovely. the funny part is. when we do meet we always do the exact same thing. yet just the characters in our stories that's changed or the venue of the place that we meet that's changed. so its somehow statically dynamic. but i really did enjoy the private date with one of them. we talked for hours in the exact same spot. we talked from A till A again. we even tried to predict our future. and the best part was. i rode with him and his big harley bike in the cold damp after rain weather. i almost fell backwards. so scary. but then i hang on to him so tight. actually it was the first time i hugged someone when riding a bike. i was holding on for dear life. and dear god i was wearing suede wedges and a mini dress. good lord i was a bout to pass out. but it was such thrill. i was so happy i was able to smile so wide with the again. gahhhh i love yaaa boys.

UBK

2010-01-12T21:55:00.002+07:00

drinking my last bottle of green tea. and enjoying my last wee bit of moment from my favourite lads. they've broken my heart, but i forgive them. they still had me at hello. and it still comes odd, after all these years i still remember the words to all their songs. i miss they're old and young selves.

and tonight i thank you Usman Ben Kumoring :)

Food For Thoughts

2010-01-12T13:46:00.003+07:00

i didn't finish my lunch, again, today. and i hate the fact that my appetite goes up and down very quick like my mood. but i do love the fact that i own a slim fit body that weighs approximately at 45kgs, may change due to food habit. im pretty bored up today. couldn't go to campus or meet Anya, which i very much look forward to. woke up in a sudden delusional stage after waking up because of a strange phone call. listening to him talk about my best friend is confusing in a way. i cant decide where i should put myself. on his side or on hers. to be honest both of them are so wrong in their own way. and i dont mean to judge or put myself as the right one, but from what i know from both sides. you guys need to finish what you started. and do it fast. or else i think my ears will fall off. other than that im pretty much happy that im thin.

i use to think thin is such a negative word. lacking in meaning and meat. but as i age i come to realize that being thin is such a relief. i feel good like this. althou i miss my highschool figure, stocked up in boobs butts and tummy. but hey i still got my C cup. and i really use to hate the fact that guys dig me because of that. so i choose thin.

highschool graduation, still looking chubby and fluffy.

the stage where i've eaten food and threw it up again was such a nightmare. i use to fuss a lot about my body image. especially when i go shopping with mother. she keeps telling to watch what i eat and how that tshirt is too small on me so i need to get a large. but that was years ago. i got over it. and i am now fully stable and pukeless once more. and so happy to say that i am a size small again.

my lunch is still sitting next to me. deer meat with red wine sauce and tofu, with a peak of white rice. i am so sick looking at it right now, that i'd rather finish my pack of cigarette than try to finish my meal. and just so you know. i didn't eat breakfast or consider to have one. the only thing i had this morning was three slurps of green tea. yes, my nu less sugar green tea. my ultimate trademark drink. around the first and second semester, i would always bring my green tea to campus, still cold and always sugar less. i dont like sweets. i dont enjoy them. i was pretty hot headed if someone asked for a thrist quencher from my bottled tea. why. because the drink was pretty much my breakfast slash lunch slash afternoon tea. it's like a friend to my rice. but for this instance, it's a friend to my malboro.

so he used to remind to eat. to always eat and get fat. he liked me with meat. he told me that i was cute and looked healthy. i followed him. i ate. i gained about 2 kgs or so. but the fact that he grew thin was upsetting. he became so thin, that i lost all faith in actually following his rules. i was so easily ill and lost my 2 kgs again. so im still thin and he is now thinner.

the deer meat still sits beside me. a few text message came my way. most are from you, which is always a pleasant. the others from her. i've come to realize that i've always been battling with my appetite and mood. but heck i would never say no to Kebon Sirih. dammit now i miss everybody. blame it all on the goat. mbeeeee

second semester. 42 kgs.

honestly. there was a point where i wanted to be as thin as Nicole Richie.

cheers. stay thin.

Photographic Memory

2010-01-11T17:18:00.006+07:00

lost in time and space. i've come back. and has been reunited with the sudden slap of reality and all the things that revolves around it. yes. the one week where i lost my self and tried to forget all the pretty mess that i've made, has now resurfaced as i sit here in front of my laptop once again. it's a common dull experience i go thru now and then, it's always tiring but it seems to never age. for the two people who've listened to me thru the whole aching and oh-so-very emotional stage (haha), Anya and Herdy, thank you. yes i did cry. and yes, not once or twice. but i am glad to say, that i am still hanging on for dear life and all of the things to come about. and to put the cherry on top, im actually enjoying The Postal Service. which to me, comes as an odd thing.

the week that's past seems like somehow a huge photograph that'll last for a longggg time. i didnt expected to come out this way. but what a ride. i just hope it's a sign of a good year ahead and an everlasting friendship till the end. there was some bumps and loose screws here and there. but that didn't take any effect what so ever on the whole outcome of the experience. jesus christ i miss Jogja already. hugs and endless kisses for Radit that's been my pillow and guardian on the trip, Ipin who's been like a huge ball of laughter, Ajhe for being the rational and wise one, who always reminds us where to put our head, Echi for keeping our stomach full and to remind me that i do have a price as a women (cie azeek), Atta for the whole photographs of our trip and i love that you love to tickle my chin hihi, and thank you Tari just for actually thinking that the red wine is syrup and of course for the fun trip i got to share with you, and Rama, rama rama rama HA! that's all i have to say, cause i know deep down inside you like me HAHAHAAA.

but i couldn't have loved the trip and enjoyed it to the fullest if it weren't for the newly weds. Anya and Abe. good lord, i love you guys both so much! and i am so happy that you guys are finally together. and i am for sure, i wont forget our threesome first night. lets just keep it that way. somehow im glad i was there, alive and unsound. althou i fell asleep somewhere along the way and ended up washing my phone with tea when i woke up. awhhh mannnn, you guyss, i cant help but to giggle when both of you are around. go get a room, you newlyweds :)

and of course my dear Vidie, who i've known since kindergarten. but have not met for over 10 years. thank you thank youuuu for letting me stay and use your endless warm water and sleep in your perfectly decorated pink room. thank you for the dinner, the tree house, the freezing peak, and of course for the catching up we got to share. over 10 years and somewhere along the way i cant imagine the 6 year old me would thought that this would happen. see you soon in Jakarta vids! i owe you one.

and a special thank you for you, i really miss you! you know who you are. gosh you've been so nice lately. i cant tell how much i love you calling me at nights on my trip. and i cant help to like you even more and moreeee. in the words of Juno, "Cause you're, like, the coolest person I've ever met, and you don't even have to try, you know…". and i really hoped you really did try so hard. cause that'll be just the sweetest thing.

and now, i will leave you with the image of me looking tan and thin. so hot (literally).

cheers with beer.

The Countdown

2009-12-30T20:56:00.004+07:00

"the way you spend new years eve is the same way you'll spend the rest of the year."

well i guess it just proves that 2009's lame new years made up this year's lameness altogether. i celebrated 2009 with a pack of cigarette, a cold beer, with my two best friends, Farah and Cemat. it wasnt that we weren't enjoying the celebration, but the atmosphere of that god riddance man hole, Citos, just ruins it. ahhhh. i am NEVER celebrating anything in a public man hole again. and so we called 2009 new year's, lame-o. and the weird thing is everything became lame this year, literally, and most of the resolution we talked about never actually really came true. crap.

so this year. i want something exciting. i wanna spend it differently. but well. got no plans. so may i wish my self another lame year ahead. man i wish i could spend the new years with ALL of my mates, and of course you. i'd really like to spend it with you. so i guess that'll be my last wish for 2009. and another one for wishing The Countdown :) hmeehhh. enjoy the video!

holy cow since when do i believe in talks of crap. ah lucky bastard.

remember new years is just another day

.

At Ease

2009-12-30T15:18:00.004+07:00

i dont like what i am going thru right now. so i'll just shut the fuck up and bottle it.
i blame all this on PMS.

2010

2009-12-29T23:40:00.004+07:00

dammit i miss The O.C. so bad. this is a little something for the new year.

"you're not Seth Cohen...."

Positivity

2009-12-29T10:14:00.006+07:00

i tweet about a lot of things. i tweet about anything. i tweet about everything. lately i've been having sleeping problems. waking up is also a work out too. i tweet about those problems. and i guess it's not just me who blabs about it. apparently my friend, Kevin Aditya, felt the same too. i mean, i really dont know what's worse. trying really hard to sleep or hating that waking up feeling. personally waking up to me feels uncomfortable, and at most time terrible. not just because of the fact that i really long for more sleep, but i always wake up missing someone. i once woke up crying, literally crying, cause i woke up missing my grandfather. by far waking up in tears is the worst. waking up to a sudden sadness isnt any different either, and crying afterwards with your mother watching you. so i guess to sum it all up, waking up is worse for me. but at times it occurs as somewhat a strange mix feelings, to a level that you feel just best.

i also dream about the most absurd thing you can think of. and often random people pops in them. it's become a normal feeling for me. but what still occurs strange is. how can someone pop in your dream if you've only known them. it feels more normal if i dream about certain people i've never met or known, but it feels strange to dream about those you've only just got to know or met. i love my absurd, terrible, happy, and sad dreams. i enjoy those viddy images in my head while im sleeping. its my perfect hide out and getaway. but i cant shake the fact that you were in it. im not saying you cant. but the equation of you popping up isnt at all valid. i guess that's actually what im trying to say.

see the thing is. this morning, i woke up missing you. strange.
so here's somewhat little words. i really dont know how it actually came to me. lucky bastard.

And the morning is for you
And the air is free
And the birds sing for you
And your positivity

Second Post

2009-12-27T17:55:00.002+07:00

"this is so real,
it's what I feel,
I look in your eyes and lose myself"

silly little girl denies
ever understanding why
her face is full of sad surprise
every time she hears him cry:

"what do you feel
when you're with me?
I look in your eyes and see myself"

but there's no connection,
just his own reflection

isn't this the way you wanted me?
in love with you
do anything
for you

she looked in his eyes to lose herself
and when it falls apart, she cries
doesn't think to look inside
she just covers up her eyes
doesn't see her own disguise

and though she feels this sorrow,
it will fade tomorrow

she'll pretend that this was really love.

thank you Farah for opening my eyes. i hope i wont be blinded again :') and i really hope you can change how i feel.

p.s.: my food mood is back YEAYYY :D lets eat!

The Sunday Covers

2009-12-20T18:09:00.008+07:00

hello sexsies! sorry i've been slacking on my posts, especially The Sunday Covers and The Current Affairs posts. but it is Sunday today, and i quite love the fact that i have been slacking. why. because if im slacking then it must mean that im actually just taking the time to breath a little and enjoy my self. well the holidays are coming. Christmas is in the air, althou this year i cant really sniff the Christmas presence, and that's quite a bummer cause i loveeeeee Christmas. anyways back to whats important. lately i've been listening to my Libertines collection again, and i fell in love again with Carl and the gang. oh man Carl Barat is just something. althou Pete is much more of a candy, but Carl is the beer that swallows the candy down. he is purrrrfectly brewed to the point where the hop hits you just before you finish glass. he is just magnificently pure sex. and it makes me kinda nauseous that my friend kinda looks like Carl and that i used to fancy him a tad. thank god that i am just numb to him now. so anyways due to my excessive listening to them likely lads, i've been collecting covers made by them and for them. (click to download)

1. Eight Days A Week - The Libertines

The Libertines do The Beatles. this pop and catchy tune is made more fun and tasteful than the original. and i rarely compliment bands who does The Beatles. but this time is an exception. and i am not saying this because i love them lads, but because their cover is just good. that's it. that's the word. good :)

2. Time For Heroes - Graham Coxon

Mr. Coxon, the very very orgasmic one out of the bunch, sings the hit from Up The Bracket. although its not as good as i like it to be, but Graham has yet been unable to dissapoint me. sang in a live session, this cover is just how you perfectly expect it. take the vocals away from the original and dub it with Graham's messy lousy vocals. almost the same right. since Pete sings in a mess also. just proves that messy people can sing exceptionally well too, by this i refer to me hopefully being able to fit Graham's and Pete's shoes.

3. Don't Look Back Into The Sun - The View

i have never heard of The View until i found this song. and they have caught my attention and likeliness. The View are an indie rock band originating from Scotland and have done a wonderful cover of The Libertines with a playful hit. this cover is one of my favourite Libetines cover. The View has made it so fun, cute, and attractive at the same time. it feels like a giant hug from a teddy bear. you just cant help but to sing along with them. download now.

4. Janie Jones - Pete Doherty (Babyshambles)

speaking of The Libertines equals speaking of Pete Doherty, and to continue speaking about Pete, Babyshambles is always on the menu. and since we are on the page of Pete, why not take a cover made by Babyshambles. just for the sake of it. personaly i am not that eager or a big fan of Babyshambles. to me Dirty Pretty Things suits me more. but other than that they are worth a listen. on their B sides album, Babyshambles did a cover of The Clash's Janie Jones. the original punk one is already thrilling enough, but the cover just puts it in a better wrapping with more sugar blend in it. sugar coated with a side of salty pretzels, but just without the beer to flush it all down.

5. What A Waster - Adam Green

so on September this year, to be exact on the 18th in Paris, Adam Green and Carl Barat joint a gig together at the Paris' Centre Pompidou. both sang songs made by The Libertines and Green. in this cover Green sang the loud Up The Bracket single in an acoustic mode. it sounds so very very american and flat somehow, but still enjoyable. it is of course worth a listen, just for the sake that Adam Green tweets geniusly but not as genius as Coxon or Dev Hynes. follow @AverageCabbage for some wise words and prayers.

6. A Day In The Life - Pete Doherty & Carl Barat

when i heard this cover i was completely blown away. my favourite song sang by the them drunken and pot headed lads is just almost completely pure happiness in a bottle. it always brought me smiling everytime i listen to this cover. this cover was intentionally made to commemorate the 40th anniversary of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Heart Club in a BBC Specials. in the cover, Pete of course sang the Lennon part and Barat sang the McCartney part and trying ever so hard to hit that really high note. the cover was mixed with a conversation, i think between Pete and Carl themselves, and ended with a surprising and beyond lovely goodbye from The Beatles. not only is the cover that made the song spectacular, but the whole idea of Pete and Carl being back together just brings flowers blooming to my heart. it is terribly terribly loveable. i am a complete mess everytime i hear this cover.

Back From The Dead

2009-12-17T18:55:00.001+07:00

i just want to stare blankly at anything, anywhere, right now.

My Oasis

2009-12-11T20:29:00.003+07:00

The Importance of Being Idle.

because ignorance is simply a bliss.

Up The Bracket

2009-12-11T20:05:00.002+07:00

if i get a penny for every time my friend asks me about that dude. i could possibly buy myself a new Topshop dress. but the thing is, like Ryan have said to Marissa, and i quote "We're both from two different worlds". if it isn't about the difference in religion, then it's about the distance, and now i guess it's about, well i guess mostly everything. i wont say in details. because this is still a public space, and for all i know the person im describing could be reading this. and for i dont know what reason, i can see why all these nonsense about differences make sense and is understandable. but what i dont get is, what about all those "opposites attracts" bullshit. why cant i be the exception. maybe it is just a mouthful of crap, and im the pathetic one for believing it. well Ryan and Marissa got together, until well, Marissa went dead. so what is this. just one phone call could make me think about all these pickles. or it could just be simple. he's just not that into you. .......okay then, let's just cut this shit and all have a glass of milk. shall we?

The Morning of Barat and Doherty

2009-12-11T07:55:00.005+07:00

i think i'll just give up. now lets all laugh together.

"But it's just like he's in another world
Doesn't see the danger on show
He'll wind up like Joseph bloody in a hole

And it's just like she's in another world
How they suit each other oh
But you never get close
Its impossible"

Farewell

2009-12-09T06:19:00.003+07:00

this was the last time i was with her.

it struck me shockingly. she's now in a better place. but it's hard to face the fact that i haven't said thank you enough and farewell to her. im sorry. i've been so caught up with my campus life, the last time i talked to her was via msn with a video call, way before she got seriously ill. i remembered she told me to say healthy and try not to get sick like me. maybe it is for the best. and up there is for sure a better place. i will surely hope to meet you, share a cup of cold coffee, and hug you again, when my time comes. good bye dear friend. i will miss you dearly :')

Nindityas Idhayanti Putri

Happy Mondays

2009-12-07T15:18:00.003+07:00

no. im not going to blog about the band. althou they are quite smashing. but im actually gonna blog about funny websites. why? i have no idea. and if you are at all, by any chance wondering, i am currently listening to Jamie T right now. his fist album, Panic Prevention, is so annoying and terribly addictive. which makes him a complete adorable boy who needs to learn to think before he speaks. what a genius twat. and he has planted an idea in my head that he's Lily Allen's little brother somehow. weird, i know. but he is so much fun that you want to bang his head so bad. i mean it, he's good. listen to Calm Down Dearest (click to download). or better yet download the album.

well, today is monday. happy monday for me. a quick recap would be, woke up at 5ish, i think. played on my laptop until around 7ish, i think. fell asleep, and woke up again at 8ish, i think. went down and fetch my self a cup of cold milk, which by the way tasted like heaven, ate the Burger King's fries left over, watched Everybody Loves Raymond, and went back to my room at around 9ish, i think. did this and that, chatted quite a long time with Dinda (thank god), also chatted with Pochi and Adit who i miss terribly, then fell asleep again. woke up hungry at around 12ish, i think. went down to get my lunch and a bottle of Less Sugar Green Tea (my trademark drink if anyone is wondering), put on one of my fave movie on my laptop, this time it was Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, finished my smoochies food while watching stupid people become a disgrace to criminals everywhere, and found my self falling asleep again. until now at exactly 04:02 pm i am blogging. around those times, i dont know exactly when, cause as you can see i somehow has lost my sense of time today due to the fact that i keep on falling asleep again and again. anyways, around those times Pochi gave me a link to http://theoatmeal.com which i've actually known about and liked. but, again due to my sleep weakness today, i have utterly forgotten about the fact that i have actually been to that site before. a pickle ey. not a matter thou. because it has actually brought smiles to me, reading the comics as if it were my first time reading it. here are a few. click on them to view the comic. enjoy.

the comics are so entertaining and wonderfully drawn cute and funny. the joke aren't hard to interpret or long to read. it's just like the right amount of sugar in a cupcake on a Sunday afternoon. and they're so random, that's what makes them so fun, because it appeals to everybody. this is my favourite comic from them, below. because its so true, and that's what makes it hilarious. click on it to view. now dont go being a pig after you read it.

or if you are not interested in comic strips, there are absurd and retarded quizzes and some funny imbecile stories to read and laugh about. i took a "How Many Baboons Could You Take In a Fight? Armed Only With a Giant Dildo". can you see how retarded this oatmeal gets. i also laughed out loud (literally) reading a story on how Twilight became...well Twilight. view the story on the picture of Jesus Christ below (read: Edward Cullen). so if you are bored or need a little shock on your endorphin but dont want to sweat (like me). then take a visit to the oatmeal. he'll make a day out of you, and with low fat milk too. so go grab that dildo and smack the life out of those baboons.

and speaking of funny websites. for me nothing beats the antics of the CollegeHumor team. they are just too much. and i mean too much. if i said that the oatmeal had the right amount of sugar on a cupcake, well CollegeHumor is like putting 10 times the usual amount of sugar on a birthday cake, with extra colourful and thick icing, and not to mention the extra cherries on top with birthday candles that wont go out. take that giant sugarful colourful and bright birthday cake and slap it on Bono's face, and you get the oh so hilarious CollegeHumor. i guess im exaggerating, a little maybe. but Pochi likes her oatmeal and know your me me better, cause she thinks that collegehumor is too slapstick. and Farah doesnt get the jokes in CollegeHumor. but Putri on the other hand, well she laughs as hard as me. i've always known that there's always a special secret bond that connects a die hard Beatles fan to one another. anyways CollegeHumor makes tons and tons, and i mean a truck load full of original funny videos ranging from sketches, music videos, cartoons, stand up comedy, and anything you can think of really. the thing about them is that, not everybody finds them funny because they're jokes are not too easy to interpret, which for me just makes them 10 times more funny. and they dont just make stupid videos, the CollegeHumor team also posts about pictures and hyperbolic unnecessary funny life based college jokes. so go and find out for your self, to see if you and me have the same level of humor. so i would actually know if my humor is anywhere near the normal bound an d level. and by the way this is one of their music videos that Putri and i loved,the one below. its actually making fun of Ringo, and in some sad way what they're saying in their joke is actually true. but if you loved The Simpsons, you would know that Marge loves Ringo so much and is her favourite Beatles compared to the other three. just a quick and not so important fact there. so enough with me babbling, enjoy the video and dont forget to pay a visit to CollegeHumor and tell me what you think.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

if you have any funny websites that you'd like to share with me. give me a holler and i'll be sure to holler you back with what i think. cause in this world, there are just too many things to get done and think about, you forget to laugh and just enjoy the essence of life. until then as always,

cheers with beers.

this is Jamie T and me at 2 in the morning :)

Enjoying All These Thrills

2009-12-05T12:58:00.004+07:00

i am definitely enjoying the breeze and air of December. so far. i am so, scratch that, too happy about the fact that Getek 3 is finally over, and that i got to share all the ups and downs i went thru with my new little family hihi. it was a fun ride. and it would be an awesome ride to go thru it again. its also safe to say that December just brings me so much smiles and joys. i dont know if its just me. but the little things that happens is just as much a part of the big things that brings me happiness, so far this month. the little conversations with him, the desperate and lonely talks with Radit, the laughs and mean jokes with Anya, Ipin, Abe and Usman, the deep conversations with Ajhe hihi, the fun fun funnn with Pochi and the gang, and every little things that has happened so much in the last almost a week of December.

even now. i am enjoying my simple guilty pleasure. i just cant stop smiling. Savage Garden and their Affirmation album and just the smallest box of Jelly Bellys. i am definitely enjoying and loving this. i guess, after all, its not hard to make me happy. considiring all my past blogs thats filled with brags and nags.

Savage Garden just really makes my day. i absolutely love them. and it still amazes me, that i still remember all the words to their songs. when i was in grade school i use to listen to them all the time on my walkmen, watch their Cannonballs concert every week end on vhs, and weirdly try to connect their songs to my life. oh me and my very poor emotional childhood. i was only 10. amazing.

yes they are as much as any gay couple should look like. i love them.

and now. i have almost finished my box of Jelly Bellys. im saving the tutti frutti flavoured ones lasts. because the song tells me to and as silly as it sounds, somehow they remind me of you.

playing now:
Savage Garden - The Best Thing
Savage Garden - Two Beds and A Coffee Machine (my favourite song from them)
Savage Garden - I Dont Know You Anymore (........)

I Hate November (2)

2009-11-29T21:55:00.006+07:00

distance makes the heart go weak.

A Fix

2009-11-29T08:30:00.003+07:00

happiness is a warm gun.

Internationally Misunderstood

2009-11-24T23:54:00.008+07:00

we are happy little vegemites
as bright as bright can be
we all enjoy our vegemite
for breakfast lunch and tea
our mummy's says we're growing stronger
every single week
because we love our vegemite
we all adore our vegemite
it puts a rose in every cheek :)

I Hate November

2009-11-24T23:06:00.003+07:00

so what. i really do hate November. but still, this is some wish i dont think will ever happen.
enjoy. and i dare you not to smile while watching this.

Because I Want a Wonderwall

2009-11-24T21:50:00.003+07:00

this is my i dont know how many attempt to try to say it. but now Pochi knows hihi.

on to more "important" stuff.

i've got last week's The Sunday Covers. which i will blog this Sunday. or maybe later. or even better, maybe when i feel like it. anyways i haven't been much of talker these last couple of days. i dont exactly know why. the weather is so sickening, literally. i threw up like hell yesterday. but i manage to do this and that. done this and screwed that. changed the world and made it back before dinner.

cheers.

Words Of Wisdom In A Contarst

2009-11-18T07:07:00.001+07:00

The tax man's taken all my dough,
And left me in my stately home,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
And I can't sail my yacht,
He's taken everything I've got,
All I've got's this sunny afternoon.

Save me, save me, save me from this squeeze.
I got a big fat mama trying to break me.
And I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

My girlfriend's run off with my car,
And gone back to her ma and pa,
Telling tales of drunkenness and cruelty.
Now I'm sitting here,
Sipping at my ice cold beer,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.

Help me, help me, help me sail away,
Well give me two good reasons why I oughta stay.
'Cause I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

Ah, save me, save me, save me from this squeeze.
I got a big fat mama trying to break me.
And I love to live so pleasantly,
Live this life of luxury,
Lazing on a sunny afternoon.
In the summertime
In the summertime
In the summertime

Question Of The day

2009-11-16T21:11:00.003+07:00

i am not in the mood for anything.

except maybe, you.

i think you're swell. and you really do me well.

you know what, its still a big question mark for me.

go figure ey.

back to Victimology. considering im a victim myself. blah.

cheers.

The Sunday Covers

2009-11-15T18:44:00.006+07:00

so im suppose to be doing this Statistics assignments. but then i end up downloading all these covers. you ask why? i dont really know. but while the night is still young, and there is always tomorrow, i really dont give a crap about statistics and numbers. equations and numbers are not what you need to get thru in life. but what you need are in exactly two simple words, Sunday and Covers.

yes, the sunday covers.
Sunday the day we all loathe and love in a way. the day we all wish never ends, but always ends up in misery because you know its Sunday when you realize that when you sleep and wake up you'll face the oh-so-horrific Monday. yes it is Sunday. the day the sun is, supposedly, shining brightly. where your ass is in a limbo because you dont know when or how it should jump out of bed. sunday should be perfect in every way. because remember, Monday awaits.
your favourite songs, tunes, and melodies arranged ever so slightly different and same in a way. it is indeed a mixed up world. covering up it is called covers. better yet, some have actually knocked out the originals.

so what makes Sunday perfect and swell, just the way it should be. covers. enjoy! (have fun downloading the covers. happy listening and enjoy your Sunday!)

so i've been listening to a few 60s bands. and i really cant get The Who, The Kinks, and The Turtles out of my head. and how oh my i really want to live in the 60s. here are a few My Generation covers, which are beyond groovy. but in this case, the covers didnt quite beat the original. but when you think about it, who could actually fit the big shoes of The Who, tad impossible. i also tried to look for covers from The Turtles and Kinks, but didnt find any. listen to Elenore from The Turtles, its ringing in my head right now. so feel rad and enjoy the generation it is now. Young Green Day covers it in their early Kerplunk days, you can hear their youth in the song. while Oasis, well Oasis is still how you expect Oasis.

1. My Generation - Oasis
2. My Generation - Green day

they say nothing beats The Beatles. well, i guess thats correct. to me anyways. well to all you followers of my blog, you might know that i am quite fond of The Beatles, and in a big amount too. to cover The Beatles is like to salt the ocean. there are hundreds of Beatles covers. so many you cant even count. but only so much that are worth listening to. as i have mentioned in my older post, my favourite song is A Day In The Life. it is, as i quote, a masterpiece. this Sunday i'll endure you all to a couple of covers of my fave song. but dont expect too much. they are not at all anywhere near the masterpiece. Cheap Trick does average, Sting does it his way in a crowd, but Robyn hits the spot on a Sunday cover up.

1. A Day In The Life - Cheap trick
2. A Day In The Life (Live) - Sting
3. A Day In The Life - Robyn Hitchcock

Oasis. i dont think i'll talk too much about them lads. all i could compose is that, this was actually somewhat an inspiration from a certain someone. very lovely indeed. one of my fave song, Champagne Supernova. ah it gives me goosebumps. tingles. Wonderwall is also such a classic also. you could even make an album from all the many Wonderwall covers. listen closely to the one by Denison Witmer. chills and makes me smile every single time :)

1. Champagne Supernova - Denison Witmer
2. Champagne Supernova - Matt Pond PA
3. Wonderwall - Ryan Adams
4. Wonderwall - Cat Power

now that Sunday is almost closing and Monday is nearly rising. i should get back to my numbers and equations. because it is already tomorrow.

CHEERS WITH BEERS!

remember save water, drink beer.

For Tomorrow

2009-11-08T00:14:00.004+07:00

under the influence, maybe.
a little too much time with fun, could be.
way over my head, absolutely.

i'll start thinking like a girl, act more like a lady, and look more like a blondie.

i guess that will cheer most of us up.

does that include you?

Damon knows what im talking about. he got it spot on.

For No One

2009-11-07T07:52:00.003+07:00

"I don't want to own you
I just want to be your friend
The best one that you'll ever have
It's true I can't pretend"

waking up to the wonderful sounds of Sonic Flower Groove. i cant help but love their old days and not fancy they're 180 degrees change. their change in music after Screamadelica, is just to me, a total wax in my ear. but then again, not all their collections are raved out and changed, some are still poppin in my ears and still wonderful. although, i may add, the "electronic" stigma on them is quite a bang and superb. but still, wax in my ear. i cant always stick to anything, or anyone in this matter, all through.

im sorry i cant stay true to a person, as easily as other people could. but i think im way over my head right now. im sorry. but its what i want (right now, at this moment). and yes, i guess its true, this is for no one.

you might find it awfully odd. but this is the exact side effects of listening to The Beatles when you sleep and waking up to Primal Scream.

what im trying to say is........

"In this world where innocence
Is laughed at by the unkind
We lack the sense of wonder
Or a beauty......"

i still dont know what i want, but i think i fancy you. HA. eat shit!

Brain Dead Virtually

2009-11-02T20:13:00.008+07:00

because

TENDER

you've made me so weak

.......so very weak

Knocking Back Prozac.

2009-10-30T19:59:00.003+07:00

It's a helping hand that makes you feel wonderfully bland :)

A Female Dog.

2009-10-19T16:14:00.004+07:00

fact: i like to dress up. not convinced? lets take a look at what went down on my last saturday evening. but here are some more fun facts, i bet you wouldn't guess about me.

i love make up, i sure do. i love wearing them, i love trying them on, i love experementing with them, i love collecting them, i just really enjoy them. i love clothes, but not as much as i love bags and shoes. bags and shoes are my weakness. guilty as charged. a random fact, i own around 60 different handbags hehehe. but i usually wear the same ones again and again. another fun fact about me is, i really do hate people cramping my style HAHA. can u tell that im one heck of a bitch you should not be messing around with. and one last fact about moi is, channel E is my ultimate bible. laugh if you must. but i am definitely one shallow girl. i truly am. but i often prove that wrong.

so here's what went down on 17th October.

i actually had a reason to dress like a slut.

and this is my inspiration.

Miss Amy Winehouse

so that i would sound legit, i guess i'll label down what i wore that night. custom made red dress, unknown black belt, mom's hairpiece stuck on my head, mom's black necklace, vintage channel bag that came in most colours you could think of, my ultimate 11cm Guess heels, all make up from Revlon (i especially loved "love that red" colour lipstick, and totally hated the "autumn berry" nail polish), vintage gold bracelet, and a gold suede Swatch watch.

.....mkay i sound awful. i totally sound like one of those perky highschool teens that have just hit fashion puberty. i promise i will never do this again, except maybe on some exception.

overall i had a great fun at the Costume Party. i wonder what i'll be on Halloween. Ed Scissorhands anyone? until then.....

CHEERS WITH BEERS!

London Calling

2009-10-10T17:36:00.004+07:00

"on the route of the 19 Bus"

you know you're in London when you hear those words calling.

wonderful pictures from
tess norma parks

The Big 7

2009-09-24T04:24:00.012+07:00

i love music. i have always do. my cousin says, "first records are everything". i guess it is true. it kinda defines how you're going to turn out, in a way. well speaking of it, my first record was Cranberries's To The Faithful Departed. i loveeeed that old cassette of mine. i use to listen to it every single day. and i was only 6 or 7. i memorized the whole album without knowing what they meant. i used to think i was gonna be the next Dolores. but when you think about it, i did used to look like Dolores. i was fuck skinny with a boy chop haircut. and i guess my face ressembles a pretty boy. my god, it was fantastic. and i also remembered singing absurdly (without knowing the words) and dancing to Blur's Song 2. and i guess now that im 19, it doesn't get old.

just now, i've been listening to a few of my jr highschool and pre highschool tunes. now dont laugh. Simple Plan, Funeral For a Friend, Finch, GC & DC, and of course The Used. i have always loved The Used no matter what. they are fucking amazing. when i think back, i really did relate to those "emotional" songs from those bands. it was, i guess, my puberatic stage. going thru life as a teen, was hard. i wasnt pretty, i was different, and i dont have many friends. it was hell for me. but then i grew up. forget about shits. and just try to look at everything in a new perspective. and i guess, that's when i came back to Blur and friends, not that i have left them at any point. i steered back in their path again. it made me happy, because i guess it reminds me of my childhood. when i knew nothing but Poo and Pooh, i used to get the mixed up.

everything's different now. the music i listen to kinda defines me now, and i guess until god knows when. it varies from time to time. and it all started with a band wearing purple suits on their album cover. i love music :)

yes. i have mumbled along. and forgeting what this post was suppose to talk about. my favourite songs. yes my faves. and not just the one i love (which are hundreds), but the actual top 10. uh huh. it is a bust. since 10 is such a big number. i think i'll lower it down to 7. seven. one of my favourite number after 3. so YES, i STILL envy the dude who's birthday is on the 7th of March. and i am mumbling again. scoot. lets start!

7. The Killing Moon - Echo and The Bunnymen
featured on the beginning of Donnie Darko. once i heard it. i was completely head over heels for it. the more i listen to it, the more i fell in love with it. i guess in a word, i would call it, epic. and the fact i heard it from Darko, it adds another touch to it. so this is my number seven. my lucky number seven song.

donnie you can be my superhero anytime.

6. Champagne Supernova - Oasis
"daft twat". that saying always reminds me of the talented twosome. who above everything else despise brotherly love over work. but lets just be frank, with their ongoing ups and downs, the music they make are somewhat timeless. and they have manage to make millions stand by them to this vey second. do i really need to elaborate. lets just put this way, some might say that they will live forever. this is by far my favourite song from them. after all these times, i guess they've manage to shape me to grow in a way, since i was still trying to actually say "gallagher". remember, they are still the same blood. i am positively sure that they will Live Forever.

prick and twat. brotherly love at its best.

5. A Comet Appears - The Shins
this song is a ticket to either a mirror reflecting yourself or a train to dreamland. this song used to be my best friend. i would listen to it almost all the time. its not just good to listen to but also it has this deep connection that i could relate to almost instantly. i know, i know. i am a queer.

queer as a folk :)

4. Comforting Sounds - Mew
do i need to start....... i dont think so. i think i've said enough about them in my other posts. i am still lost in Bjerre. this song has every single component an epic colossal song needs. its somehow quite extraordinary. beautiful. and i think the backdrop for this song is in a way quite insane. enjoy.

3. Linger - The Cranberries
an anthem to almost every 90s highschool kids. its not just the song that makes me love Linger, but also the video. one of my fave vids def! and in black and white too. Dolores is really something ey. the words are so true and pure, it makes you kinda sick at times. and so many people tries to cover this song, but not even one has gotten close to how Dolores delivers the song.

2. Kiss of Life - Sade
i bet this is a shocker to a whole bunch of you. yes, i do enjoy Sade. it is very soothing. and yes i would love to sing like her. and yes, this song is a total turn off for my image. and yes, definitely, i do not care. why i love this song? and why is it number 2? i think the song speaks for it self. the WHOLE package. the singer, the words, the melody, the atmosphere it brings, and of course the sexy deliverance from Sade. brilliant.

i swear to God, this is one of the most gorgeous picture i have ever seen.

and my ultimate number one. numero uno. nothing beats........
1. A Day In The Life - The Beatles

masterpiece.

The very last.

2009-09-18T01:27:00.003+07:00

Pretty little girl, she shines
knowing she is young, she smiles
happy just to be a prize
happy just to see his smile

silly little girl, she tries
thinking she is good, and wise
doesn't recognise the lies
pouring from her lips, she sighs:

"this is so real,
it's what I feel,
I look in your eyes and lose myself"

silly little girl denies
ever understanding why
her face is full of sad surprise
every time she hears him cry:

"what do you feel
when you're with me?
I look in your eyes and see myself"

but there's no connection,
just his own reflection
isn't this the way you wanted me?
(what do you mean?)
in love with you
(what do I feel?)
do anything
(what do you mean?)
for you

she looked in his eyes to lose herself

and when it falls apart, she cries
doesn't think to look inside
she just covers up her eyes
doesn't see her own disguise

and though she feels this sorrow,
it will fade tomorrow
she'll pretend that this was really love
(what do you mean?)
she'll make their fall
(what did I feel?)
seem beautiful
(what do you mean?)
she won't remember this at all
(what do you mean?)
she won't recall
(what did I feel?)
the truth at all
(what do you mean?)
she wants to fall
(what did I feel?)
again
(what do you mean?)

Lush

Please Dont Wake Me

2009-09-16T02:46:00.002+07:00

so im suppose to study Theories of Sociology and Victimology. but heck. after a 6 hour snooze-a-thon that i didnt plan on, im still sleepy. so basically, i think, i have this disease. its not contagious. its quite severe. its disturbing. and not at all painful in anyway. but the worst part is, i dont think its actually cureable. so i think i have, what people may call a "sleepy head". yes. i am always in every way sleepy even in the very least bit. dont get me wrong, even though there actually is a real disease like this. mine is just minor coincedence. and you can bet a zillion bucks that my eyes are drooping and heavy right now. i just, oh dear god, want to sleep. is it so hard to understand. i want to hibernate.

on to some more unpointless stuff. ...

i got nothing.

SLEEP.

I LOST My Way Somewhere..... In Bjerre

2009-09-13T01:59:00.007+07:00

its 2am. i've been falling asleep like crazy. been trying to forget EVERYTHING that's shadowing me. listening to Them for the past 2 hours. with headphones and maximum volume.

what a release.

tall just like giraffe. you have to climb to find it's head. but if there's a glitch. you're an ostrich.

you should check my lastfm. and see the play count.

I'd really like it if you. Turn out the lights as we planned. It's gonna hurt when we land. I don't want it to.

my head was doing its work. i felt like i was drugged.

But I lost my way somewhere. And the trees were glistening.

before i know it. i was high as a kitey. and somehow i was tearing up.

Well, I felt like that. I was blaming myself. I was cushioning my fall.

and my head had its thing going. wishes were made. yes. Special.

There's a taste that you can't shake. But you can't seem to let them go awry. I know you're special.

fell asleep. woke up. and was pumped up instantly.

I've lost all my pure feelings. The psychiatrist posing as psychologist. When fear predicts.

i haven't stopped. so help me god. i've been summoned by the devil. or maybe an angel.

All the dirty shows I've put on. Blunted and exhausted like anyone. Honestly I tried to avoid it. Honestly.

it cant stop. i cant stop. i wont stop. it is completely, for sure, positively, pure, satanic.

CHEERS WITH BJERRE!

Im Alone In The New Pollution

2009-09-12T22:23:00.006+07:00

he says.....

"she's got a cigarette in each arm". i even have one in each foot.
"she's got a hand on a wheel of pain". i get enough of it, as it is.
"she can talk to the mangling strangers". and with crazy stuff running in my head.
"she can sleep in a fiery bog". of course i could. i am HOT after all HA!
"she's got a paradise camouflage". it's definitely what i do best.
"she's got a carburetor tied to the moon". i got it tied to Pluto for all i know.
"she's the boat in a strip mine ocean". well i'd like to think i am that awesome.

yes yes.

"im a driver. im a winner. things are gonna change. i can feel it."

i am alone in the new pollution :)

Get Crazy With The Cheese Whiz!

2009-09-12T09:17:00.004+07:00

hello my sexy bloggies. i havent posted anything for exactly a whole month. just some heads up. im back in college now. new semester. new stories for sure. letmesee. well i've been joining this competition. which sucks out all my time and energy. eff. lots of new ass-es. more eff. and i guess that's pretty much it. lame right. i know. even my friend who was trying to read me with cards, couldnt get the "guy" or relationship card to open. but all my activity card popped up. not that i want to. but you know. it's been quite a while since i've had some action. so the last one, never wants to talk me ever again. which is i think retarded. god how much in love are you with me, that you're so painful to never me want to speak to me again. it's me people. me. and the very last one, was like i dont know. HAHA. so yeah. crap.

i spent the last of my holidays. going out. haha. so happy to go out, especially with those boys. how i miss those boys. they were like the romance part of my summer vaca. gosh. i miss my dearest bestie. fay. i feel like a dyke now. and my 2 pretty girls, Dinda and Dhea. but as much as i love the holidays, i love going back to school. i love to learn. okay that just sounds so bad, but hey who gives a crap. i have 16 year old nerd boy living inside of me after all. not to mention the fact about the 12 year old boy living inside of me too. i am all made out of puberatic boys. does that creep you out the least bit.

so i woke up early today. i've been listening to a hell lot of beck lately. menn he is something. and so dorkingly awesome too. Loser is like my ultimate anthem now. so anyways im off for some more Mellow Gold. you sexies stay cool.

CHEERS WITH BEERS!

I Am Your Lady, Jonas.

2009-08-11T23:25:00.002+07:00

as he comes in singing to the stage, with his pink shirt, black cardi, and black pants and a pair of sneakers. an adorable school boy haircut. his shirt and cardigan seems too big for him, which makes him look 10 years younger than he really is. the mic right in front of his mouth. he sings like an angel. he looks like an angel. he is, in some ways, an angel. it is as if God was singing thru him. he smiles. i was in the near point of dropping my tears. i was in a good position. in the middle and a couple of feet away from the front. perfect to see him as the center object, and perfect enough to see the whole band. lights flashes fast and very heavily. they became dark and unseen. black, a silhoute of their bodies appear on the screen of visual effects and animation created by the same talented fallen angel. he was short and pretty small package. i didn't think he would be that "cute". at that point, i knew that God was trying to tell me something.

i wanted to cry.

Zookeeper's Boy. and tears rolled down my eyes. it was tears of joy.

by far my favourite song and performance from them. and it was also Jonas's favourite song to perform. his animation on the screen as the background gave me the chills. giraffes running. and this little girl singing the very beautiful chorus was i thought, gosh i dont know, i cannot describe it. that little girl, that Jonas created was infact his wife. lovely isn't? suppose so.

such a beautiful specimen. created by God in every way to be almost a holy human being. a fallen angel. he was definitely Special. he's a rocket to me.

at that moment, watching them perform was just beyond words amazing. it was like the perfect orgasm that was created to be cherished for life. like some kind of spell that'll dazzle you every single time you hear or remember them. a complete wonder fantasy that includes flashing lights, dancing and singing babies, giraffes and ostriches, rabbits and koalas playing violins, and chinaberry trees growing like snakes. i wanted, no i needed, a joint to smoke. the melody and his angelic voice just draws you into another dimension that you would never want to escape from.

they sang Snow Brigade, which the crowd thought was the ending. we all started to scream for more. by that time my voice was almost dried up after 3 days of the same thing over and over again. little sleep. too much singing. and my God wayyyy too much standing up. and definitely too much screaming. i was like a gig or concert whore. i felt dirty ha! but then they came back. just like the others, and by others i mean VH, Mr.Big, Melee, and i dont really give a crap about Secondhand Serenade, so i dont really know.

they came back for two more songs. they closed it up with Comforting Sounds. how beautiful is that. when Jonas started singing, my heart almost stopped. and tears began to roll down again. i was singing with him. i cried. i thought to myself "if i were to die now God, please just let me die. this is one of the happiest time in my life. and to think it was a late birthday gift. how could i ask for more?" i seriously wanted to rip my shirt off, and just somehow drown. sparks started to fly near the end. it was spectacular!

at the end. when it was all finished. i could not stop smiling. i had the biggest grin, and im not much of grinner so i guess you can all conclude how amazing they're performance was. people started to pass by to the exit. i was standing there. i was still in shocked. i was shaking. and this isn't something of an overreaction, i was literally shaking like i was cold. i light up my cigarette, took a big breather of fresh air. and felt like either i had the most intense pleasurable sex or the closest thing to a religious experience. i let out my smoke as if it was the best night of my life. i smiled. and went back down to earth.

here are some snapshots from my unholy night created by one of the holiest specimen. a fallen angel. Jonas Bjerre.

here are some shots of my "big grin" moment. chills.

and finally some pre-Mew shots. pictures from before i saw that creature that was so holy it was a sin just to have fantasies of him in my head.

And another one

2009-08-06T22:09:00.003+07:00

This just kills me

2009-08-06T22:02:00.001+07:00

hehehe......

Meat Is Murder

2009-07-18T21:57:00.008+07:00

listening to Death Cab all night is kinda depressing. but they're words are so beautiful, it's hard not to keep listening to them. anyways today i rejected all the invitation to go out. sometimes i wonder why i even have friends at all. i mean for all i care, my best friend has always been my head (no offense Fay). and the thing i enjoy most is the time i spend with it, especially in my now clean and organize room. so today i've been doing these retarded notes on FB that you get tagged on. i mean sometimes, they're just so ridiculous you stop and think why would you even make one in the first place. but since i have way too much time to kill, and the free time that i have i treasure dearly, i made two tagged notes on FB today *big sigh*. yes yes im such a victim. thank god im not one of those hipsters or scenesters who's out and about tonight, possibly somewhere soaking each other's coolness and presence and thinking "wow we are so cool with our music and artsy ways that the world doesn't understand us". but who really cares, i dont give a crap about them too much or else they'll get in your head and possibly drive you insane with they're oh so "coolness" ways.

doing FB notes is not the only thing i've done today. i've been playin Ghost Trappers and Mouse Hunt all day. aaaaaaddictive! yes yes i am a slave to the internet and their evil ways. oh will i ever survive the horor. and this habit and addiction that's been growing on me is, i dont know maybe you've heard of it somewhere, called Twitter. HA HA HAA yessss laugh your ass off people. i have a Twitter now. it's really weird since i'm not really the kind of person who likes to get all up in your face and update my life on the world wide web. but then again I AM a slave to this evil invention called the internet. retarded and amazingly surviving. uhm yes i have been tweeting my tweeps in twitterville. tweet tweet tweet. fascinating things these people have created for social networks, and to make it seem like we're birds. amazing. so so follow me tweeps on twitter, crazydips the name and my updates are on the right hand tab. be warned i tweet like crazy and mostly about random and unimportant things, very disturbing.

since i told Fay im gonna try to be a vegetarian, which i think only lasted a couple days. hey im trying! and if you visit her blog, you'll find a quote that'll mark the beginning of my road to healthy living. goodbye meaty fatty beef cow, goodbye smooth tasty salty chicken. and hello greenies and boring plants, we're gonna be best friends for hopefully the rest of my life. but unfortunately not today! anyways not just healthy living, but i've been really obsessed about losing another 2 kgs, since you know i wont be able to grow in height anymore. well fuck that. i wanna be skinnier.

well i left my blog draft for almost an hour, and spent that time trying out omegle. the web for people who have nothing to do and likes to have "fun". i was practically fooling around in that web. you should try it sometime. and if you ever meet an alexa, 19 from south london, that's me people. and i was michael jackson, a horny bitch, and a european transsexual. ermmm nasty!

im not ready to part from such a sweet face like that. parting is such sweet sorrow.

enough from boring old me. see you on the flip side! until then, cheers with beers.
ahh goddamnit mosquitoes, why do i have to be so sweet and tasty. such a burden z

freebies:
Death Cab for Cutie - A Lack of Colour
Death Cab for Cutie - Your New Twin Sized Bed

Don't Worry Baby

2009-07-10T15:09:00.005+07:00

i dreamt about you last night. it felt so real. and now at 03.13 pm im sleepy again. this is Quinn's favourite song. such a soothing but random song to love.

"Well its been building up inside of me
For oh I don't know how long
I don't know why
But I keep thinking
Something's bound to go wrong

But she looks in my eyes
And makes me realize
And she says "Don't worry baby"
Don't worry baby
Don't worry baby
Everything will turn out alright"

the beach boys have just made my day. and now im off to take a shower.

Blowing Virus

2009-07-09T11:22:00.003+07:00

i dont know what to post. i've made like about 4 or 5 draft posts, but none of them seems to be quite fitted. i just dont know what to post.

so anyways today i bought my java rocking festival tickets, which means only one step closer to seeing MEW live! so excited yea. i woke up pretty early today (09.00 am). and opened my eyes to my laptop which was lying beside me the whole night and checked my mouse hunt status straight away. it made me so pissed that the whole night i failed to attract a mouse! fuck. not even a white mouse, goshh. yesterday i caught my first Gold Mouse hihi yippie. and this whole hysteria about mouse hunt is starting to get to me. thanks a lot guys you've made my holidays worth something, catching mouse on a daily basis every single 15 minutes. thank you for always reminding me to 'blow'. "tiup terus dip sampe dower" "tiup teruss coyy!" "tungguin tiap 15 menit, tiup terus biar jago", gee thanks buddies :| and it was true, the thrill of seeing "I sounded the Hunter's Horn. I was successful in my hunt! I caught a 9 oz. Gold mouse from the Town of Gnawnia worth 592 points and 1,209 gold." is quite something. and now i have just changed bait from plain cheddar to marble, unlike a certain somebody who uses swiss but only has little money haha! i failed a lot today, but still manages to catch a few white's brown's and grey's. and just now the common granite. still half away to go till i reach the next level. hope i can catch up with those pesky boys who gave me this blowing virus.

a cat is always the best trap. no expensive bait required.

i'll continue later on in the day. until then cheers with beers!

Now playing: Mew - Snow Brigade (mp3)

Jacko The Freako finally gone

2009-06-27T01:26:00.008+07:00

so he created the feisty dance moves. he created the never dying and always awe-ing moonwalk. he made the fastest and biggest selling record in the US with Thriller. he made the most expensive video clip ever made with little sister Janet, called Scream. he made the longest video clip in music with Ghost. he has gone thru the most brutal, most changeful, terrifying, horrific, and unhuman transformation in history. he has made one of his body parts, the famous nose, one of the most recognized icon and body part in the world. he has made himself as one of the most influencetial person known to mankind. he's lived 50 years filled with everything a human can possibly go thru and experience. he has gone from normal to say i dont know mother fucking holy crap weird. he has climbed and reached the top and now fell down and resting in peace, i hope. for Michael Jackson is and always will be The King of Pop.

he has filled my childhood and growing pains, oh i hate to say this, with magical thoughts and woderful memories.
Thriller is definitely my favourtie song from him. and the music video for it is also my all time fave music video. oh my, i cannot express how much i am in love with the video. gosh it used to give me the creeps when i was little. and the dance moves in Thriller, classic!
Black & White is also something i can remember from my childhood. the catchy song, the cool video and the jiggy dance, and of course Macaulay Culkin, adorable!
and the classics. my favourite would be, definitely Billie Jean and Bad. what else can i say? awesome!

and now a piece of my mind. i have no idea why i dont really give a crap about him dead. for me, in my book, he's been dead since god knows when. the day he turned unhuman (physically and mentally). he was already dead to me. i dont know why. Jacko is still a legend, an icon thou and a living freak show to me. thanks Jacko for everything. oh well, see ya weirdo! you really are an amazing person.

now dont get scared children, its only uncle Michael.....

i hope your nose wont turn to hot watery wax in hell :)
rest in peace MJ

Thriller - Michael Jackson (mp3)
The 911 Emergency Call (listen to it haha, mp3)

The Current Affairs.

2009-06-24T19:17:00.005+07:00

okay so hemm its been a while since i posted anything, so lets go to another "the current affairs".

recently made a new bestie or should i say twinnies *wink wink*

dont we look cute? hahaha

currently listening to.....

Emmy The Great (dont ask why)

doesn't she look a tad like me? (ha ha haa! yes yes laugh it up people.)

and Florence & The Machine (still, dont ask me why)

florence and her magical hands, uuuuhh creepy!

recently been watching ALL the Star Wars movies. on holidays my geekiness comes out, and makes me very obsessive and irretrievable. and yes, i think i have gone too far this time. because i am currently learning the ways of the force (im not kidding) and taking my time in using and perfecting my jedi mind trick, thanks to which i have been called a freak because of this. no worries :)

yes! i said ALL of them. personal favourite, definitely Revenge of The Sith and The Empire Strikes Back. gosh it still makes me sick when i see Luke & Leia kissing.

i'd hate to think that i would end up marrying someone like one of these guys

cannot! CANNOT wait until august for this, hypemachine pleaseee dont let me down...

humbug anyone?

freebies for all you freeloaders, enjoy!

Emmy The Great - City Song
Florence and The Machine - Dog Days Are Over

CHEERS WITH BEERS!

DINDA'S 19th

2009-06-17T18:02:00.002+07:00

i see them so happy together. i kinda envy that. and im so so happy for them. im really thrilled that they're getting married. my best friend and my pretty wise full of experience guy friend. im so excited for them. he told me about LOTS of stuff last night, he told me about her, about his full on experiences in life, his thoughts and expectations, and of course his placement as a son, a friend, a working man, a future husband and boyfriend, as a brother, as an uncle to all his nieces, an "outlaw" and of course as pure himself. he made me realize how lucky my best friend is, and i am so happy for that. i can see now that he truly is someone worthwhile and someone special for my best friend. i cant possibly be more excited and thrilled for the both of them. i love you guys! make beautiful babies mkaaaayyyy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DINDI xxo

oh and if you're wondering, they're still college kids and they're still 19

what does it all even mean?

2009-06-09T19:49:00.003+07:00

i dont wanna talk, i cant cry anymore, i dont know what to do, i cant barely look at myself in the mirror, i feel numb. to think that i've gone over all this feeling, here it comes back again. making me miserable, unworthy, and turning me into a complete failure. i dont wanna go back to that place again, i thought it was all over, i dont wanna feel it again. i dont wanna go through it again. i really really dont know what to do, i dont what to say, i cant even feel anything. i literally hate myself right now. fuck! the shins isnt helping, nor is morrisey singing making me feel any better. for fuck sake, even my cigarretes has no taste. a bottle of beer? maybe. but i doubt it. get drunk? hell no. that, i know for sure, is not gonna help me at all! cut myself again? i was just thinking about that. but i promised myself, i will never go that far again. i need a comfort. i just need to get it over with. i dont know how to face them, actually him. i dont know what to say, i dont how he'll react. i just dont friggin know. gosshhhh im so lost right now. im still shocked. and for fuck sake im fuckin ashamed. my hands are cold. my eyes are dry. my heart is pounding. and my mind is going crazy. i think i need help. but im the worst at doing that. im just, ghaaaaad, i just dont know what to dooo!!!

A thematical affair

2009-06-07T01:06:00.006+07:00

so i checked my fs, last i did that was probably i think last year. anyways i found my old reviews. and the most recent review was my review on The Last Shadow Puppets, which i think i made when i was back in highschool. i was for sure wayyyy too in love with them back then. and back then i was too subjective in making reviews. and the only reason i actually made reviews is because i had nothing better to do at that time. so what do you think?

here it is....

I'm currently listening to...
posted 04/25/2008

The Age of The Understatement

Artist: The Last Shadow Puppets

a side project created by two geniuses with creative minds. an album filled with bold rhythms and words. here you can see alex's more mature side. a very different perspective to see him in. this album which was release on the 21st of April was recorded in two weeks in France. when you listen to it you'll know how much of a genius they are. a powerful album. its packed with strings orchestra,bold guitar rhythms, a mix vocal from miles and alex that'll make all the lairy girls in the limousine melt, and songs with words you wont understand right away but somehow pulls you into their atmosphere. my personal favourite song is Chamber. that song somehow moved me,as corky and weird as it sounds. and another one of my favourite is Standing Next to Me,in this song miles's vocal is more dominant than alex's and it pairs greatly with a soothing guitar sound. in most of their songs,Alex's vocal and accent are a sure hit,his vocals are more dominant to hear. but other than that the pair are great combination making them taste like peanut butter and jelly. The Last Shadow Puppets are somewhat like an affair that wasn't intended on and you dont want it to end. ok now in my mind is one thing. i would like to marry miles and alex and create,what i would call in my world, the perfect man. they're clever,smart,witty and above all else handsome and adorable. they're school boy shyness and silly antics make me drool over them like a pathetic girl. this album is a must. i dont think you would ever get sick of them or get bored from this album. to describe this album in one word would be,bold. the key tracks are The Age of The Understatement,Chamber,Standing Next to Me,and one hectic song called Only The Truth. gotta love them!

much like peanut butter and jelly?

Blur

2009-06-06T01:30:00.001+07:00

The Great Escape.

Common People

2009-06-03T00:43:00.004+07:00

she says she wants it, she's a hypocrite. she wont tell. she likes it, she does. she really does. she cant though, she knows she cant. her wants to live like all those common people around her just isn't coming thru, i guess. oh look at her with those sad little eyes. just waiting for either one to come. how pathetic she looks. she feels the annoyance of people all around her. with their common things, with their expectations of her, with her placement right now and false observation. too much, too much. stop. just look at her now, listening to pulp feeling miserable and confused. feeling wrong. cause of her, she wont talk to him. cause of her, he realizes he's better off with her. she's everything she's not. what a perfect picture she is, no wonder he's protecting her to stay. she smiles at it. she wants them to be happy, she really does. she wants everybody to be happy, every one of them, even her. she's smiling, look look she's smiling. she knows it would all get better, wait no. she's smiling to hide it all away. oh what a shame, she's doing it again. all over again. different people, same scenarios. same dream of trying to be common people. she really does want to live like common people. but i guess, that wont be coming true, sorry love. its only a song. its time to change the track and take a hike!

no no nooooo, she's changing the track to Death Cab. wrong move dude. good luck with that. just hope all those images in her head now wont bother her as much as it is bothering me now.

Secret Garden

2009-06-01T14:32:00.004+07:00

i love him! i do! i love him, i love him! and i dont care what you think. i love him for the man he wants to be, i love him for the man that he almost is. i love him world, i love him! i love him!

I love you. You... complete me.

Shut up. Just shut up. You had me at "hello".

Now Playing: Secret Garden - Bruce Springsteen

WAKEY WAKEY MY BROTHER

2009-05-31T08:36:00.002+07:00

pretty early morning. just woke up a few moments ago. had quite a fun night. met up with iqbal, which was very lovely. and now waiting for my buddy to friggin wake up. come onnnnnn dudeeeeeee wakeeey wakeeeeey! wake uppppp!

ANJAAAAAAAAAAAA
WAKEEEE UPPPP!
WAKEEYY WAKKEEEEEY!!
WAKE UP!

Reason?

2009-05-29T20:20:00.003+07:00

How can you say your life is empty
So late in the day
Why would you stay another second
Now your sights got in the way
A combination of love and aggression

Another second lived

artificial happiness or just plain sex?

2009-05-20T22:36:00.006+07:00

"Happiness is a warm gun (Bang Bang Shoot Shoot) Happiness is a warm gun, momma (Bang Bang Shoot Shoot) When I hold you in my arms (Ooooooooohhh, oh yeah!) And when I feel my finger on your trigger I know nobody can do me no harm"

so for all you Beatles fans, you probably would already know where the above lyric comes from. yepp it comes from one of my fave Beatles song, Happiness is A Warm Gun. i first heard this song in the car when my dear old dad turned it up, he was singing to it. i listened to the song and thought it was so imaginative and creative, and that just made me love Lennon even more. this song was so different both musically and lyrically. the music was so random to hear, cause you could hear Lennon actually weeping in a way, cause he needs a fuckin fix! and the doo woop bit was so catchy with the bang bang shoot shoot, genius! though this song was stuck in my head for days, cause of the movie Across The Universe, it also left me puzzled. im always puzzled about what meanings a song holds, and in most cases i can interpret any song quickly and quite easily. but this, this one, not so much. i've always thought this song was about being down, depressed, and suicide. but heck! i thought about it again, and realized that it could actually mean anything.

happiness is a warm gun, vaguely tells about how a person is going down and needing a fix, by this fix means death. with the line mother superior jump the gun, he's saying that pleaaase just kill me now mother superior (who controls all) bang bang shoot shoot! but from my further conception about this song, i have summed it up with this interpretation. the first verse can basically mean anything, ranging from Lennon's description and vision of Yoko to drawing an acid trip moment that Lennon's experiencing. the second verse which starts with the line "i need a fix, cause im going down" (i love that line so much), just means he needs a getaway, a substitute, a cure cause he's about to go down, dying, needing, pleading for his fix by this i think it could mean drugs, heroin, LSD, alcohol, death, or just plain sex. in wikipedia, that line actually refers to Lennon saying that a warm gun is an injection of heroin, and he needs that injection refering to "i need a fix cause im going down". the actual "happiness is a warm gun" statement is so ambigual, some people refer to it as Yoko "shooting" Lennon in their sexual fantasies, and it actually sounds kinda true when you listen to it more, "When I hold you in my arms, And when I feel my finger on your trigger, I know nobody can do me no harm" ooooohh kinky! or as wiki and most people have said, the gun actually means that injection, syringe filled with heroin, and it gives a lovely warm feeling bang bang shoot shoot! the artificial happiness a drug gives, lovely and warm. or it could just possibly mean the most simplest interpretation, and that is suicide.

so, what do you think?

Gift From God

2009-05-17T03:18:00.005+07:00

just enjoy God's gift for a few brief moment....

melts,
Across The Universe

Files Deleted

2009-05-17T02:17:00.004+07:00

so on monday im gonna have my final exams for this semester, and i've been reading a few (4) pages of my politic book (and i consider that as studying) today and falling asleep all day. when i woke up, around 9-ish at night, i went up to my room with full hopes and energetic fever to do my Indonesian Cultural System (padahal hanya sistem budaya indonesia) final exam assignment, and what did i find?????? I LOST MY PAPER! FUCK MY ASS AND MARRY ME WITH A MONKEY!! im so fuckin retarded! i literally broke down in tears (baca: mewek) and started to cry feeling confused, stupid and mad. i felt so terrible cause i already did half of the paper, i only needed to do a little bit more and add in a final closing chapter. fuck! i have to do the whole godamn thing over again from scratch. then it hit me, i was so stooooooopid! i had accidently drag my paper along with my HAM notes to the recycle bin, and yes i have already emptied the freakin bin! gawwwd, could i get anymore dumber, i swear if i could i would turn into Patrick The Star and drool my way to a stone. while i was calming my self down, my friends were asking what happen and they were all asking if i had a backup file of it. and stupid me, no i have no backup file to save me. i had no backup file to help me. i had no backup file to make it all better.

along the way i was thinking of how i was crying on my last final exam last semester, not because i had lost my paper but because of something more different. i was crying because someone, who i thought was special, was leaving the country. and i dont know why, i was feeling so sad. i cried when he left, heck i cried in my canteen when he called me on the phone before taking off. and in the end, everything went well, good, great, FUN, and just lovely! but i dont know, something then changed. i was back to the sad place again, this time without the tears thank god. but i actually felt more sad than when he was actually leaving, this time i felt like i was really really saying goodbye to him cause i was losing him.

and the ironic thing is i dont have a backup file to save me in that situation either. i took it too seriously just like i took my SBI paper too seriously. i didnt have anything to save me, to help me, to make it all better, cause i was too focus on the whole thing without even thinking about any circumstances that could happen to harm and ruin it. and the sad thing is, i could make those two situations better if i wanted too and if i was smarter too to actually think about it. i only needed a flash disk for my paper and i only a needed a dose of reality for him. but in the end, everything's a lesson along the way. you fall, you get up, and you move on. you learn, you live. and you make sure you never make the same mistake again.

so remember to always have,
a. a flash disk
b. a rebound (hahaha)

and i'll reassure you with those two backup you'll never shed a tear again.
cheers!

(i wonder what i'll be crying for, for next semester's finals? i hope i wont.)

Reality Bites.

2009-05-12T21:13:00.003+07:00

when you ask why do i still care?
its simple.
cause i do.
i did, i do, and has always had.
but i dont think i will...

Don't know why I'm still afraid.
If you weren't real I would make you up now.
I wish that I could follow through.
I know that your love is true and deep as the sea.

Remember when we first met
And everything was still a bet in love's game
You would call, I'd call you back
And then I'd leave a message on your answering machine

We're made out of blood and rust
Looking for someone to trust without a fight .
I think that you came too soon;
You're the honey and the moon that lights up my night.

We got too much time to kill
Like pigeons on my windowsill we hang around.
Ever since I've been with you
You hold me up all the time I'm falling down

But right now, everything is turning blue.
And right now, the sun is trying to kill the moon.
And right now, I wish I could follow you
To the shores of freedom
Where no one lives.

Freedom. Run away tonight.

i had fun.

All Day Saturdays

2009-05-09T18:14:00.004+07:00

I know she knocks you off your feet
You’re so bitter; you think she’s sweet
Well she’s wrong for you, I swear

Did you forget to read the script?
There was never a role for her
It was always you and me, just me

I know you never felt romance
And we always lack suspense
I can edit those parts out

I never made you feel complete
I've fallen beneath your feet
I would never bring you down, so down

Just because she loves you too
She would never take a bullet for you
Don’t believe a word she says
She would never cut her heart out for you

I heard she wrote you a song
But so what
Some gal wrote 69
And one just ain’t enough

And there’s no sense in her trying
I know cuz I’ve been
Trying all the time to find a song that would make you mine
But all I ever find my love
Are clichés that don’t rhyme

Popular mechanics for broken hearts could help me now

Spectacular

2009-05-06T00:44:00.003+07:00

his mind

his looks

everything bout him is a total
natural orgasmic.

right back where we started from

2009-05-03T20:20:00.003+07:00

The end's not near
It's here
Alleluia
Spread the cheer
And watch the millenarians
Throw a party for a thousand years

You won't see the pious praying
They'll be too busy flaying
All the martyrs with better ways
To stop the world decaying

If you call me I won't be home
I'm hiding from the kingdom come
They can't see everything on earth
With the satellites and the roving drones

This is why hell is underground
Like a reclaimed bad part of town
We don't want to lose our souls
We're the saints who don't want to be found

addicted to the sweet pitch of its siren

2009-04-29T23:11:00.003+07:00

having a smoke.
ate a plate of sushi.
done my assignment.
waiting for a call.
not even worsely prepared.
almost midnight.
do you want to go to the seaside.

having a smoke..........

"All you need to know about life is retained in those four walls. You will notice that one of your personalities is seduced by the illusions of grandeur - the gold packet of king size with a regal insignia, an attractive implication towards grandeur and wealth, the subtle suggestion that cigarettes are indeed your royal and loyal friends, and that, Pete, is a lie. Your other personality is trying to draw your attention to the flip side of the discussion, written in boring bold black and white, it's a statement that these neat little soldiers of death and in fact trying to kill you and that, Pete, is the truth. Oh, beauty is a beguiling call to death and i'm addicted to the sweet pitch of its siren. That that starts sweet ends bitter, and that which starts bitter ends sweet."

Till then it's like you always say, we're society's only protection.

2009-04-27T18:15:00.006+07:00

so last friday i finally watched Watchmen, which i have been waiting for quite sometime. i was so very excited that i could pee. when i saw all the trailers and all those commercial things they do for movies, i was just goshh speechless. i was so fuck excited. mind you people, i've never actually read the graphic novel unlike all the other excited people have. but i've seen it, i mean i have viewed it. and oh my it is awesome. and i couldnt agree more if the graphic novel is vowed as the most celebrated graphic novel of all time. and they said that it was virtually impossible to remake it as a movie. and you know how you have visions of how superhereo movies are. so modernatic, great effects, and actually far from the original vision of the comic itself, i mean there's only quite a little essence of a comic book that you can actually feel when you watch it. so it was as if it's just a movie, just a bare adaptation, you dont feel the same excitement as to when you read the actual comic. but heck i bloody love superhero movies, i've seen almost every one of them, except you know superman cause i think he's jussst way too overrated and too much of a buff guy to go around in earth. anyways my love for superhero movies is another story.

my favourite character, The Comedian. a very strong character, very honest and ironic. the plot of the story revolves around his death.

so when i finally watched it, all i could remember was shit this is gonna be a short sit in the theatre, remembering how superhero movies are quite the short blockbuster. when the movie began i was so happy that it was even better than i how i've imagine it to be. i dont wanna give spoilers to all you people, who havent watched it (God people go watch it! NOW!), but the effects and visuals of only just the beginning was i dont know, i cant even say it in words, i mean it actually felt like the comic came to life, that you're actually reading a comic book, virtually. it was epic. so when the beginning ended, came the intro, which i love so much. cause you see i have this thing for vintage old stuff, like the 40s and 50s. and well the intro kinda explain to you on how the watchmen actually came to be who they are. it starts off in 1938 and continues thru to the date of the movie, which is 1985. and the song for the intro, i couldnt have love more, was bob dylan's The Times They Are A-Changin', which i thought was perfect. the intro was actually my favourite part of the movie.

the first generation of Watchmen, "Minutemen" in 1940

Watchmen: the comedian, silk spectre, dr. manhattan, ozymandias, the night owl, rorschach

half way thru the movie, i started to feel kinda bored and disappointed because the beginning and the intro has just lifted my excitement so much that it brought me down to enjoy it with a hint of boredom cause there was just too much talking. it was good in a way though, cause they have taken every aspect and bit of the graphic novel and havent left any part behind. and thru out the boredom, i was actually quite happy. cause this is how i actually would feel when i read the comic, kinda bored at some point. but of course my boredom was soon gone, and i was excited back again. the movie was great, althou i was disappointed at a point, but it really doesnt matter. the effect, the essence, the music and the story was awesome! like i said the graphic novel actually came to life. and how i found out that people (my friends) actually kinda dislike the movie, was just (as my cousin have said) stupid. yepp theyre stupid. and yeahh im gonna watch this movie again, this saturday. yeayy YIPPIEEE :D so exciting!

and i just wanna share with you some of the great music from the movie, in order they appear in the movie. enjoy :)

MTV Theme: Man On The Moon - Jonathan Elias and John Petersen
On the TV and opening fight: Unforgettable - Nat King Cole
Opening credits: The Times They Are a-Changin - Bob Dylan
Dinner with Laurie and Dan: 99 Luftballons - Nena
Funeral: The Sound Of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel (my FAVE song from the movie)
Vietnam: Ride Of The Valkyries - Budapest Symphony Orchestra
Bar in Vietnam: Me And Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
Street protest: I'm Your Boogie Man - KC & The Sunshine Band
Laurie comes to Dan's house: Unforgettable - Nat King Cole
You're My Thrill - Billie Holiday
Protest (from the opera Satyagraha) - Philip Glass
Something She Has To Do - Philip Glass
Prophecies (from Koyaanisqatsi) - The Philip Glass Ensemble
Pruit Igoe (from Koyaanisqatsi) - The Philip Glass Ensemble
Captains of industry / assassination attempt: Everybody Wants To Rule The World - Studio Group (originally performed by Tears for Fears)
Love scene: Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
Bar scene asking about Pyramid: Clyde - Waylon Jennings
Flying to Antarctica: All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
On the TV: Control Voice (from Outer Limits) - Vic Perrin
On the TV: The Outer Limits Theme - Dominic Frontiere
On the TV: Panic - Dominic Frontiere
End credits: Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance
Second end credits song: First We Take Manhattan - Leonard Cohen

and here's the track listings for the soundtrack.

1) Desolation Row - My Chemical Romance
2) Unforgettable - Nat King Cole
3) The Times They Are A-Changin' - Bob Dylan
4) The Sound Of Silence - Simon & Garfunkel
5) Me & Bobby McGee - Janis Joplin
6) I'm Your Boogie Man - KC & The Sunshine Band
7) You're My Thrill - Billie Holiday
8) Pruit Igoe & Prophecies – The Philip Glass Ensemble
9) Hallelujah - Leonard Cohen
10) All Along The Watchtower - Jimi Hendrix
11) Ride of the Valkyries - Budapest Symphony Orchestra
12) Pirate Jenny - Nina Simone

and of course the music from the trailer, which i thought were nice, especially the one by Smashing pumpkins, listen to it.

The Beginning Is the End Is the Beginning by Smashing Pumpkins

Take a Bow by Muse

Angel (album Mezzanine) by Massive Attack

"The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll whisper "no." "

comforting sounds

2009-04-23T22:07:00.003+07:00

please God, i promise i'll TRY to be a better person if you'd only let this present and gift become true.
i promise i'll try to stop bitching and moaning about every thing.
this is gonna be the best birthday ever :)
19

ohhh, mother of pearl!

2009-04-19T18:07:00.005+07:00

my inkblot test result

Attempt number 1
Sickness Quotient: 77%
Your Sickness Quotient of 77% indicates therapy may be useful.

Detailed Diagnosis

Interpersonal Insights
Your friends (both of them) think you're a total clod. As long as you continue to buy the beer, however, they'll still be your pals. You complain about everything regardless of what it is. You wouldn't be happy even if you were hit by a new car.
Job Performance & Attitude
You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone. You hate your job but will never leave it. That's because no one else will hire people whose job skills consist of sleeping and surfing the web.
Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "Find something you love, and do it." Unfortunately, your test results indicate you really love sheep.

Attempt number 2
Sickness Quotient: 55%
Your Sickness Quotient" of 55% is hardly cause for concern.

Detailed Diagnosis

Interpersonal Insights
You have difficulty concentrating or keeping on task, probably because you're an idiot with a short attention-span. You are utterly incapable of meaningful relationships, which is probably a good thing since you're a horrible bore under the best of conditions.
Job Performance & Attitude
Although your work can upon occasion be very good, remember that even monkeys can be trained to do what you do. And they don't call in sick. You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone.
Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "I've got to be me", but an awful lot of people wish you wouldn't.

attempt number 3
Sickness Quotient: 83%
Your Sickness Quotient of 83% is definitely something to worry about.

Detailed Diagnosis

Interpersonal Insights
You complain about everything regardless of what it is. You wouldn't be happy even if you were hit by a new car. You have delusions of adequacy which are completely unfounded. You couldn't pour tea out of a boot with the instuctions written on the heel.
Job Performance & Attitude
You have little empathy for anyone more successful at work than you, which is pretty much everyone. You work very slowly. In fact, if you went any slower you'd be in reverse.
Personality Insight
Your personal motto is "It's better to ask forgiveness than permission." And you would certainly know.

my mental health results

i suffer from Schizophrenia

General Overview

Lack of interest in interacting with others; avoidance of social situations; feelings of anxiety and a lack of self-confidence while in the presence of others; worrying that others will view one as being incompetent or beneath their standards.
Purchasing or collecting material objects that may be costly, but of little practical value; going all out for an occasion or event that is of no real importance; requesting time off from work during the busiest time of the work-year; a general disregard for practical utilization of resources.
Believing that one will never meet the standards for being adequate in the eyes of others or oneself; believing that no matter how hard one tries, they will never amount to anything; feelings of resentment and animosity toward others who appear to be successful; experiencing anxiety about how one is viewed by others; denial that the perspectives or opinions of others are of any importance.

Interpretation

Feeling that others are treating you unfairly, disregarding your feelings, needs, or point of view, or withdrawing their love if you do not do things their way. Suspiciousness or mistrust of others statements and actions, or believing that others are out to take advantage of you or do you harm.

and i also suffer from Depression

General Overview

Verbalizes pervasive negativity and loneliness concerning one's life and relationships.
Lacking in motivation to complete projects that have already begun or begin new ones.
Socially isolated and avoidance of communication with others.
A narrow focus or preoccupation with very few facets of life.
Elevated self-doubt and low self-worth/confidence.

Interpretation

Intense doubts and fears about one's health/physical condition.
Verbalizes of a variety of physical complaints.
Believes that their physical health is deteriorating.
Unable to acknowledge that their physical health is satisfactory.

mother teresa! i feel sick............

the current affairs

2009-04-18T09:14:00.001+07:00

im currently............

getting back to my old roots. hitting the end of the 90s with gorgeous tim wheeler :)

feeling just a tad crazier than usual. and getting seriously creeped up and fascinated by the secret.

still being inspired by her (my dear karen O). and i get really annoyed when people actually stare at me when i dress like her. but whatev really, althou its kinda irritating, i like the attention. i am seriously in LOVE with my leather jacket!

still looking for the BEST pair of high oxford shoes. the ones i have arent this high, and its brown. the one above is suede and grey, and oh my so high. i just gotta say, that i love lovee loveee it!

fantasizing about spicy tuna maki, which i had for dinner last night. i cannot get enough of these. scrumptious...

oh so hungry for everything!

Purple Haze

2009-04-13T22:05:00.005+07:00

behold people. this what i face and see every single day since last saturday haha.

so lets start....

The Fish: it was a prop from my 6th grade drama in Japanese class. i did a drama with Rachel, Cameilia and Jamie. oh i miss them :( and Jamie actually made that fish out of paper and staplers, and filled it with tissues.
Photoboxes: old photoboxes to be exact, from junior high. there's Fay, my mom and sist, Cha Cha, Citra, Nisa, Tacha, Dindi, and yea a very ugly picture of my lovely sister.
Garelopisan Crew: thats the picture thats pinned in front of the mouth of the fish. its a picture of my old band from highschool. there's Sarah, Ragil, Putrisa, Elle, Ochi, and myself with the old short pixie hair and pink shirt on the bottom left corner.
My Crazieeeeest Girls: next to my old band picture, there's my junior high school picture. that picture looks like some kind of mean girls pose, and still with our uniform gosh~ miss ya citradisamanthalyshiannisapsari zzz
The Used Consert Ticket: one word, BEST NIGHT EVERRRR! mkay make that 3 words. to watch your favorite band, and the most hunk-a-licious guy in the world before your eyes, is over the topppp AMAZIIING! and to watch with your best pals, couldnt be much more better. thanks for protecting me Tee and Iqbal :)
The Family: yepp thats a picture of me and my cous's. i miss those days. we were young, and STILL ARE! haha.
Death Cab For Cutie: need i say much?
Two Thailand Lottery Tickets: this is a sign of hope. a sign of goal for me to reach. a somewhat sign of encoragement. this also reminds me of Atta hihi
JGTC Ticket: do i need to explain? lets just say, wet and wonderful.
Tribute to Our Influences Ticket: Anya ohh Anyaaaa, we really are something. seriously, we are!
Spongebob's Fake Money: a symbol of my new family of the 2008 criminolgy. you guys truly makes me smile every single day at campus. its really awesome to be a part of all of you.
EmpatEnam Sticker: highschool.......................................